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(F/Futa4A/GM) Uncorruption of Champions (A Corruption of Champions RP (Open to other ideas!))
2019.05.27 19:52 SeanEmber(F/Futa4A/GM) Uncorruption of Champions (A Corruption of Champions RP (Open to other ideas!))
It was fruitless, one could lose hope so very easily. Marae knew she was losing, the past dozen or so champions were fuckslaves now, cocks bigger than their legs, or tits constantly oozing milk. So very easy to corrupt, they lacked the will power it seemed. Hope was dwindling, even the goddess herself had grown weary from absorbing polluted waters and delivering the same tiresome lines about shutting down the factory. Perhaps she should try and make her own champion? The work would exert her however, she'd succumb in weeks at most, minutes at worst. But, what if, perhaps, she were to only expend half her energy? Most if not all the other gods were dead, so a mortal would have to do, all she needed, was the right host...no...partner. --- Thunder clapped above the humble campground. Above a figure rocketed towards the earth. Before an undoubtedly brutal and fatal landing, they stopped, as if hitting an invisible cushion, before unceremoniously flopping to the ground. Odd, even by Mareth's standards. The figures form glistened, their white flesh shimmering, like they had been wrought by the biggest clam in the world. Supple lips glimmered a lustrous golden, the interior of their mouth matching, coloured by molten blood. Drool dribbled in a quaint stream from the side of the unconscious figure's mouth, spilling onto the ground. The fluid brought new life to the yellowed grass, turning it emerald, causing dormant seeds to sprout and bloom in a near instant. This odd figure, perhaps, brought a new hope to the world. --- Hiiii! I'm looking to do an RP based around a little game called Corruption of Champions. Now most people just pound some goblin ass, drink whatever is put in front of them, and call it a day. But if you go further you find a game that tells a story, rich amounts of lore and plenty of interesting characters hidden in plain sight. get the mod and it increases tenfold. I'm looking for someone with a serious love for the wacky world of Mareth to go on an adventure with me. I've had an addiction to GM's since I was a kid playing D&D, they seemed to be these charismatic story tellers (Until I found bad ones), their words taking me out of the dining room and into a whole world. I'm looking for those that can nut to story telling as much as smut, but there's still smut, cmon. With that out of the way. I'm a lesbian, I only want girlxgirl, so if you're a guy IRL please, please, don't tell me, better yet pretend to be a girl, its uh, well, Ive got a bad experience with these things. Next, I do third person past tense ONLY, present tense is just unbearable for me, sorry. I do more than one line, about three sentences minimum to be exact, and I expect that minimum too, but don't expect me to give ten page replies, I'm not a fan of excess detail all the time. I expect us both to have some good grammar and what not, but I'm not gonna go crazy over a mistake or two. My kinks list is massive, but to name a few to entice I love Milfs, Futa, Romance and all sorts of nice cute things, but I can get pretty kinky. I exclusively RP on discord, however it's free so give it a chance if you'd like. Finally, to make sure you read this AAAND know COC, tell me the name of the centauress you meet in Tel'adre in your PM Alright final extra note is I am open to other prompts, but I'm craving a GM so keep that in mind. If you wanna talk about an alternate prompt send me your favourite drink in your PM I really hope this seems fun. HAVE AN AMAZING DAY EVERYONE!
2019.04.18 20:46 jackanapes8Breach of contract question. Is it worth pursuing?
Hi all, I live in Florida. Last November I bought my first house, and my first home warranty. It was $600. Recently a stoppage in the drains caused water to back up in the kitchen sink. I call my home warranty company (American Home Shield out of Memphis, TN), pay a $75 service fee, tell them what's wrong. They send someone to look at dishwasher (which I thought was ridiculous, but I trusted them). I (a school teacher at a small private school) took an unexpected day off for this. The guy did nothing, and told AHS to send a plumber. I take another unexpected day off, cause according to AHS it's the only times they can come. The guy plunges my sink. The next day my sink overflows and spills out onto the floor with yellow water. clearly he made things worst. I called AHS - they tell the same plumber to contact me to schedule. I tell them I can't take anymore days off. They yell at me repeatedly telling me "it's in your contract to make yourself available" I tell them i want to speak to a manager, they connect me to someone who literally calls one other plumber and says, sorry they can only come out 8-4. I ask them to actually try and find a plumber who can come out after 4, and they flat out refused saying it was up to me to make myself available. I tell them I consider this a breach of contract, them refusing to fix my stuff and to refund me the full contract amount since they're refusing to honor the service agreement of the contract. They said they would cancel it and refund me the remainder of the contract and the service charge so $412 instead of $675, (Also to note: it's been 3 weeks, I have not received any of this refund yet, I keep asking they just keep saying it's going to be mailed). Other notes: I read all six pages of the contract. NO WHERE in there does it stipulate I must be "making myself available" or anything like that. It does clearly state in the contract that if it's cancelled they will not pay the full price of it, but just the remainder... but since they refused to accommodate the service outlined in it, in my mind it's breached, not cancelled. ADR arbitration said they'd hear it, but their fee is as much as the warranty, and I'm but a poor private school teacher fighting for $200. I filed a complaint with the BBB where they just responded with paying back the remainder. I also sent them what I ended up paying a plumber at a time i could do ($93) to actually fix it and they just said "we do not recognize this as an invoice" Any advice will be appreciated. I don't really know what or if there's anything I can do.
2019.02.19 15:40 Cassandrasworld🌍🍾🎤👗🤵 THE AMAZING DRAG RACE - EPISODE 3: The Irrelevant Gay Awards PART 2 🌍🍾🎤👗🤵
After listening to the challenge, Anita’s threatening smile reflects the empty screen. [ANITA CONFESSIONAL]: I’m just gonna say it, winner winner, two chicken dinners. Anita pulls Elle close to her. “We should try and hide the marker box from everyone else.” She whispers in her ears. “Anita no!” Elle replies. “I want to compete with the best of the best fairly. Cheating doesn’t feel right to me.” “Well fuck those feelings Eleanor Roosevelt Crimson.” Anita replies. She attempts to push the yellow marker box over without any luck. “Goddammit.” She pants. “This thing is anchored down to the ground.” “Thats because your twinky arms can’t lift anything Anita.” Elle claps back. Anita’s face lights up as if a tiny light bulb has been turned on inside her head. She rushes out of the frame disappearing for a couple of minutes leaving Elle alone next to the marker box awkwardly looking around. Before she could see it, a suitcase flies through the air knocking Elle down to the ground. “AAAAADJIWD WHAT THE FUCK!!” Elle screams in pain, laying down in a pool of her own Crimson red blood. “Ohmigosh Ohmigosh” Anita cries. She pulls a revolver out of her pocket and aims at Elle. Her eyes closed and her arms shaking as she whimpers. “Our Father, who art in heaven.” Anita whispers to herself. “Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” “Anita stop what the fuck I’m fine I just need a medic.” Elle Screams. “Oh.” Anita sheepishly hides her gun in her wig. The paramedics rush to the scene wrapping Elle in bandages. “Besides what were you thinking???” Elle screams at Anita. “I thought I could knock it over with a suitcase if I got my aim right!” Anita replies. “WHAT?!?!” Elle yells. “You were kicked out of Little Leagues Baseball for a reason.”“Yeah but I was a kid bac-”“No you were 27.” Elle cuts her off. Meanwhile on the plane, Skarlet is trying to get Kitty prepared for the upcoming challenge. “All I’m saying Kitty.” Skarlet begins “We should start theorizing on what the challenge can be so we can start writing some dot points and ideas.”“Yeah Yeah.” Kitty yawns. “I need a cat nap.” Kitty snuggles up in her plane seat. “But Kitty we need to start our strategy!” Skarlet begs. “Uh huh sure k.” Kitty stretches her arms up in the air. “Kitty WE NEED TO START PLANNING.” Skarlet grabs Kitty and begins to shake her. “Okay okay but let me sleep first.” Kitty replies now clearly annoyed. “But Ki-”“Listen here Missy.” Kitty cuts her off slapping Skarlet’s arms away. “We don’t even know what the challenge is, let a girl nap because I’m still tired from last night’s afterparty.” [KITTY CONFESSIONAL]: Ugh I just need my own Kitty Korner at the moment to get a deep sleep. On the other plane, Erathelle, Sardonyx, Claudette and Mademoiselle are all seated in pairs in the same aisle on the plane. On the right side, Sardonyx has found herself a book full of stickers and has managed to cover herself in them as a grumpy Erathelle tries to look away from the mess. Sardonyx leans close and places a heart sticker on Erathelle’s forehead. “Whats with the sad face Erathelle?” Sardonyx asks “You gotta put your frown upside down!” [ERATHELLE CONFESSIONAL]: Love love love Sardy but we could’ve been in France by now if she didn’t get distracted by goddamn essential oils. Erathelle’s eyes are distracted by a stunning flight attendant on the aisle packing up the luggage on the top compartments. Erathelle still completely gazed, approaches the flight attendant. “‘Excuse me maam do you need any help?” Erathelle asks. The flight attendant turns around and reveals herself to be Desdemona. In shock, Erathelle falls to the ground. “ERATHELLE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” Sardonyx rushes to her side. “Fuck it I can’t do CPR!!” Sardonyx cries. Suddenly a tall man joins their side. “Don’t worry maam I’m a doctor I can help out.” He says. “Ummm I’m sorry- “ Sardonyx slaps the doctors arms away from Erathelle. “I’ve done years of research on google so I think I know what I’m doing.” Sardonyx pulls out a bottle of Olive Oil and drizzles it around Erathelle, she begins to chant in Pig Latin. “Maam this is quite inappropriate.” The doctor tries to interfere. “Fuck off Bernard!” Sardonyx yells. “Besides I think its working.” Erathelle opens her eyes wide open. “ITS DESDEMONA!!” She screams pointing at the flight attendant. The flight attendant turns around and looks at Erathelle in confusion. Her face completely different. “I-I- What?” Erathelle looks around in confusion. “Don’t worry Era.” Sardonyx reassures her. “The Olive Oil will wear off.” Amongst this commotion, Mademoiselle and Claudette watch in anticipation. Whispering to each other as they giggle. [CLAUDETTE CONFESSIONAL]: Tragic. Back at the airport, Alexa and Annie are both waiting at the airport to board their plane. “So what was it like competing on S2 and All Stars?” Alexa asks. “Uh huh yeah, I think Carol and Panthera were robbed.” Annie replies looking away from Alexa. “Umm I didn’t ask you who you thought was robbed on S2.” Alexa replies. “Uh huh Uh huh, S2 was a shitfest while I personally think I slayed All Stars.” Annie replies. [ANNIE CONFESSIONAL]: You gotta keep your competition on their toes, hence why I’m fucking around with Alexa. 1:00 am CEST Cannes, France. Skarlet arrives at the airport, focused on the large binder filled with notes which she’s written throughout the entire flight, she approaches a nearby library to do some research on google before typing out all her notes and printing them out. [SKARLET CONFESSIONAL]: You gotta put in all the work to win a challenge in this competition so it was necessary I visited the library before finding out what the challenge was . . . . I also hate looking at my messy handwriting and wanted to look at something clean. Skarlet finally approaches to the yellow marker box watching Cassandra go batshit crazy on screen while announcing the challenge. “Fuck yeah!” Skarlet yells in delight. “The statistics were right on this being a hosting challenge, now Kitty I have everything prepared for us to slay.” Skarlet is met with silence. “Kitty?” She looks around. “FUCK!” Skarlet screams. ‘I LEFT KITTY ON THE AIRPLANE!” The scene switches to Kitty still on the plane . . . headed towards Dubai. She’s all snugged up tucked in her blanket wearing a pair of earmuffs with pointy cat ears and an eye mask covering her eyes as she snores. Meanwhile Anita and Elle have finally reached the destination for this weeks challenge. “Oh my god wow look at this grand stage.” Anita looks around in excitement. “ECHO!” She yells, the empty stage echoes back. “ECHO . . . . . ECHO . . . . .ECHO . . . . . SHUT THE FUCK UP ITS 1 IN THE MORNING”“Oh I love the French and their honesty.” Anita replies. She takes her phone out of her wig and opens up Grindr. “Wow look at all the Frenchmen Ella Enchanted! Anita screams. “Uh huh Anita shut up and help me unpack I can’t do this by myself.” Elle struggles to unzip the bags due to thick bandages covering her fingers. “Uh they all have long and thick Baguettes.” Anita replies. “I say we ditch this and get some dinner.” Anita licks her lips. “First of all no thanks.” Elle replies. ‘Second, I’m underage and Third, come here and open these fucking bags Anita.” “Oh Oui Oui I’ll be there soon.” Her eyes glued to her phone as her hands make their way down to her crotch. Before anything else could happen, a flying suitcase knocks Anita over. “OW WHAT THE FUCK ELLE.” Anita screams in pain clutching to her arm. “Oops.” Elle replies. “I was aiming for your phone for your phone but my aim must be bad.” “I think my arm is broken!” Anita whimpers. “Oh my god stop making excuses Anita!” Elle claps back. Meanwhile back at the airplane, Sardonyx is deep asleep as Erathelle constantly looks around in fear. [ERATHELLE CONFESSIONAL]: I swear that bitch Desdemona is following me. But why? It was Alexa who fucked her over not me. Producer: Oh thats because Alexa is filler and we’re getting rid of her next week. [ERATHELLE CONFESSIONAL]: Wait what? Producer: Fuck I’ve said too much. \Throws Olive Oil at Erathelle** “Sardonyx” Erathelle shakes the Queen until she wakes up. “Erathelle what is it?” Sardonyx asks. “Is Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie getting back together?” “What no.” Erathelle replies. “I need you to come to the bathroom with me.” “Erathelle.” Sardonyx sighs “This is the 7th time in an hour.” “I know I know but I don’t feel safe on this plane with Desdemona lurking around.” She whispers. “Erathelle just get the fuck up and go to the bathroom.” Erathelle gets up the same time as Claudette. “Oh hello Erathelle.” Claudette sneers. “Going to the bathroom?” “Yeah.” Erathelle sheepishly replies. “Girl, I’ve watched you go to the bathroom like twenty times already its my turn.” Claudette squeezes her way through Erathelle and walks towards the bathroom. “Um I think the fuck not!! Erathelle grabs Claudette's ponytail accidentally pulling it off revealing her bald head. “Erathelle WHAT THE FUCK!” Claudette turns around yelling at her. Mademoiselle, noticing the drama immediately gets up. “Now now you two.” She tries to interfere “Its late at night and we’re all tired. Get back to your seats.” “Not until she apologizes!” Claudette screams. “I don’t think I can.” Erathelle replies. “Erathelle what the fuck, ever since the wheelchair incident you’ve been so hostile!” Claudette holds back her tears. “Oh fuck.” Erathelle whispers to herself remembering episode 1 where she accidentally destroyed Claudette’s outfit. “I could’ve won that one Erathelle but you ruined it.” Claudette says trying to pull herself. “Well actually.” Madem interferes again. “Cassandra did say your looks were bottom two worthy.”“Nows not the fucking time Madem.” Claudette snaps back. “Ladies we’re about to land can you please get back to your seats.” A flight attendant approaches the Queens. Erathelle immediately recognizes the flight attendant. “OH MY GOD ITS DESDEMONA.” she screams Erathelle punches Desdemona forcing her to the ground. “Oh my god Erathelle what the flying fuck.” Claudette gasps. Erathelle realises her mistake. “OH NO OH NO OH NO.” She steps away. “What is with the noise?” Sardonyx awakes looking completely annoyed. “Its like I’m in prison again.” Meanwhile on another plane, Alexa is hit with a sudden realization. “Hey Annie.” She whispers. “Do you think the reason why we’re getting less screen time on this episode is because Cassandra is running out of ideas?” “Uh huh yeah Alexa.” She replies. “See!” Alexa points out. “You’ve been saying the same thing on 3 different scenes now!” “Uh huh” Annie continues to ignore her as she tries to read her magazine. “You did it again!” She points out. “She’s giving Erathelle, Elle, Sardonyx and Anita all the screentime. I demand for more!” As Alexa continues to ramble on, a strange man wearing a large coat approaches. “Alexa.” The man begins to speak. “I’m part of the producers of ADR.” The man pulls out his badge. “Its come to my attention that you’ve become self aware of your filler position on this competition, speak about this again and you will immediately be chopped off.” “Hold on.” Alexa continues to argue. “You literally gave the Desdemona schtick to Erathelle when it was my fault she got attacked by zombies, I literally have no purpose along with Annie. In fact I bet we’re the bottom 2!” The man leans closer towards Alexa. “Listen here young woman.” He pulls off his fake moustache. “If you continue to speak about this situation, this plane will suddenly crash, your disappearance will be ruled off as a death but in fact you’ll be locked in my basement along with the other girls who decided to speak up about this. You know what happened to Amanda? All of her holes have been resized. Angelina? At this moment she’ll be shipped off to Malaysia to a gang who would love to have her. Dixie? She’s fucking dead. “You monster!” Alexa gasps. “Daddy who are you speaking to?” Three high pitch voices can be heard. Alexa turns around to see Dixie, Amanda and Angelina all standing together. “Hold on sweethearts Daddy will be there shortly.” The man replies. “Um sorry about that, it isn’t what it looks like.” “Uh huh” Alexa sarcastically replies. “Anyways, stop talking shit about this goddamn season Alexa or else you won’t be cast on RDR5.” The man turns around and heads back to the 3 eliminated girls. “Now girls, who wants to join the mile high club?” he asks. “Oh pick me! Me Steven-san! I want to join the club.” The girls scream in excitement. [ALEXA CONFESSIONAL]: *shivers* I hope I won’t turn into them when I’m eliminated. 3:00 am CEST Cannes, France Skarlet has been busy for the past 2 hours at the information desk trying to find out Kitty’s location. “Yes, my partner has been left at the plane.” She explains to the lady at the desk for the millionth time. “Oh is this partner your wife?” The lady replies in a thick French accent. “No no she’s my friend.” Skarlet replies. “Don’t worry I’ve been on the friend zone before.” She leans closer to Skarlet. “The only way to get your girl is by unleashing your inner Christian Grey.”“No what the fuck.” Skarlet replies. “Can you just tell me where the fuck she is woman, I’ve been waiting for 2 goddamn hours and now that I’ve finally accessed your services, it seems like I’m talking to a goddamn degenerate who can’t do their fucking job.” The woman looks at Skarlet clearly pissed. “I’m sorry ma’am but it looks like I can’t help you.” Meanwhile at Dubai, Kitty looks around the airport in confusion. “Why is everything coated in gold?” She says to herself. “I thought France turned into a 3rd world country.”She watches a gold coated camel walk across her. “Fuck even their cows are covered in gold.” She whispers. She approaches the front desk. “Hi umm where the fuck am I?” Kitty asks. “Umm . . . ma’am?” The man continues. “You’re in Dubai.” “Oh shit fuck!!” Kitty screams. “This place hates gays and detained my Queen Gigi Gorgeous for being trans.” “You’re a homosexual? SECURITY!” The man screams. Mittens rushes towards them with an entire SWAT team. “Wait Mittens?” Kitty looks at her shocked. “You were literally on Miss Runiverse two weeks ago. “SSSHHHH Don’t out me Kitty.” She whispers. “This is the only place that pays me in gold bars allowing me to pay off my debts quicker.” Meanwhile at Mandelieu Airport, security has escorted Erathelle, Claudette, Sardonyx and Mademoiselle out of the plane. “Well at least we don’t have to go through check out.” Madem jokes but is met with silence. [MADEMOISELLE CONFESSIONAL]: What a girl can’t make jokes about this now? Smh All 4 girls are sent to a room where they’ve been detained. “Well this is great Erathelle.” Claudette begins. “Now we’re detained in a foreign country, possibly been placed on the no flight list therefore sabotaging us in the competition.” “It could be worse.” Madem chimes in “We could be in France. “Madem we are in France.” Claudette replies. “FUCK” Madem screams. “The French hate me because they think my fake French persona is offensive.” “Wait what?” Claudette asks. “Hold up I think I can talk us out of this.” Madem yells at the closest security guard. “HON HON FEED ME A BAGUETTE, OUI OUI VIVA LA FRANCE!!!” “Ma’am I can speak English.” The security guard replies. “Dammit.” Madem slouches back on her seat. “I guess we’re fucked.” But hope is not lost, the door bangs open revealing their hero, Cassandra half-done. “Girls what the fuck was that.” She begins. “I’m sorry” Erathelle begins. “Its all good Era.” She continues “Why couldn’t you hit each other instead of an irrelevant character? My insurance doesn’t pay for that and I’m already over the damn budget.” They all look down in silence. “Lucky for you guys I managed to get you out of this.” She zips up her pants. “Now you whores go do the fucking challenge now.” “Yes Cassandra.” They all leave the room. As soon as their gone, the security guard approaches Cassandra. “Now that we’re alone.” He leans closer and kisses Cassandra in the neck. “We can get back to what we were doing." “Not now Armand.” She pushes him away. “I’m not Anita.” Meanwhile Alexa and Annie have touched down. “Did you see what I saw?” Alexa begins. “Cassandra literally ran out of ideas and had to write that to make the episode interesting.”“Uh huh” Annie replies. “See, she wrote for you to say that because she’s ran out of ideas and how you can respond to this. Before you know it, she’ll end up like Buzzfeed and make us paint with period blood because she’s ran out of plot points.” “Go off Alexa.” Annie replies. “Trust me, we’ll be seeing some weird shit soon.” They continue to walk across the empty airport surrounded by circus animals. A giraffe can be seen making conversation with a hippo while a large elephants walks across the two girls with his luggage on his back. Meanwhile, a pair of chickens can be seen sitting at a restaurant having breakfast which consists of sunny side up eggs. ******************************************************************************************************** Finally after 11 pages of bullshit, we’re finally starting the challenge. Cassandra walks across the stage in a marie Antoinette styled gown, her face is white as fuck and her wig is stacked up so high, it makes her look eight feet tall. “Hello and welcome to lap 3 of The Amazing Drag Race!” Cassandra begins. “Tonight we’ll be watching the girls host the annual Irrelevant Gay Awards as I and the judges judge the shit out of them.” “You love her and she’s been a judge for a couple of episode now, welcome Del O’Ryan, winner of Reddit’s Rising Sta-” Before she could continue, a producer enters the stage and whispers something into her ear. “Oops.” Cassandra continues. “I accidentally spoiled the winner, Janice cut that out we gotta refilm.” Cassandra looks down, rubbing her hands together before looking back up. “She’s a stunning Queen from Australia. Welcome the winner of Reddit’s Rising Stars, Del O’Ryan!” “Fuck” Cassandra whispers to herself. “I guess thats another lawsuit to deal with.” “She’s a Queen that's competed on all seasons, just not this one. Welcome to the stage Kornucopia!” Korn waves to the crowd. “This Queen has disappeared more times than Alex has, welcome Catheterina Dick!” Cathe wave to the crowd before turning into dust. “She claims to be a top but from judging Second Chance, she seems to enjoy being a bottom. Welcome Aspyn Ambrose!” Aspyn waves to the crowd. “Now let the show begin!” MOST LIKELY TO GET SNAPPED WHILE IN AN AWKWARD SITUATION HOSTED BY MADEMOISELLE AND CLAUDETTE The lights focus on Mademoiselle and Claudette as they enter the stage and walk towards the microphone. Clearly annoyed by Cassandra’s large wig blocking the view, This bends over to take a glimpse of the two Queens. Mademoiselle & Her Majesty, Claudette walk out on stage. Mademoiselle is wearing a sheer lavender jumpsuit with bell-bottoms. The waistband indicates the garment is high-waisted, and the bodice features a nice plunging neckline. The jumpsuit is long-sleeved, and tight to Mademoiselle’s arms. She wears a dark, ruby red lip with a burgundy, curly wig, parted all on one side. Her eyes are classically dragged out; smokey eye with a dark purple tint and stacked lashes. Mademoiselle wears a gold plated choker, gold statement earrings, and a large gold bracelet on her right wrist.Claudette is wearing…clothes? MADEMOISELLE:Hello hello hello everyone! Welcome to the 1st Annual Irrelevant Gay Awards, where we are celebrating the unsung members of our LGBTQ comm….wait... Claudette did they load the wrong intro in the prompter? CLAUDETTE:No why do you ask? MADEMOISELLE:Well, it says we’re supposed to be celebrating our attendees but I’m finding it hard to think of things these queens should be celebrated for. CLAUDETTE:But Mademoiselle, we have Elle Crimson, a fashion icon, and Annie Depressant, a lip sync assassin...and...and...Kitty is here... MADEMOISELLE:Oh yes, Elle “What’s-the-word-for-a-jacket-that’s-longer-than-a-trench-but-shorter-than-a-cloak-but-velvet-but-floor-length-but-fringed” Crimson and Annie “I lost to Mademoiselle in a sexy lipsync” Depressant.Silence. CLAUDETTE:...is this about All Stars.MADEMOISELLE:No not at all! I don’t appreciate being called bitter, Claudette. CLAUDETTE:But I never- MADEMOISELLE:PLUS I don’t think you should talk given your Drag Survivor Two behavior now. Hmmm??? CLAUDETTE:Do you need to breathe into the paper-Mademoiselle is crying a bit now. MADEMOISELLE:I’m fine! I have this now! And Winter Wig Wars! CLAUDETTE:I’m sorry I don’t know what- MADEMOISELLE:JUST READ THE CATEGORY. CLAUDETTE:...are you done? MADEMOISELLE:...yes. CLAUDETTE:It’s cause you’re drunk again and In YoUr FeElInGs isn’t it? Well guess what Madem acting like Panthera isn’t gonna make you take her 2nd place spot. MADEMOISELLE:… CLAUDETTE:Now! Our first category is…glances at teleprompter...oh how appropriate! Most Likely To Get Snapped in an Awkward Situation! Our first nominee is… MADEMOISELLE:Annie Depressant! CLAUDETTE:With her NSFW history and VPL bunny snap she’s a shoe in! MADEMOISELLE:Agreed! And speaking of NSFW history, our next nominee is...me! CLAUDETTE:Oh wow girl! Congrats! You may finally win something important! MADEMOISELLE:Haha fuck you cunt! But it may be tough because our next nominee is the queen of Drunk Snaps, Kitty! CLAUDETTE:And last… MADEMOISELLE:Like on RRS… CLAUDETTE:...is me. And I think my chances are- *She freezes and puts her hand to her ear.* Excuse me? It’s not...oh. OH. Well that could’ve been MUCH clearer...yes I’ll say it. Thanks. Slight change everyone! We’ve been misrepresenting this category! In this case, “Snapped” means turned to dust/erased as seen in the blockbuster hit Avengers: Infinity Wars! MADEMOISELLE:Oh wig! That...could've been MUCH clearer. CLAUDETTE:I already said that. MADEMOISELLE:Yeah but who listens to you? CLAUDETTE:Fair point. MADEMOISELLE:… CLAUDETTE:… MADEMOISELLE:… CLAUDETTE:… MADEMOISELLE:And it looks like we don’t have material! So, without further ado, the winner of the “Most Likely To Get Snapped While In An Awkward Situation” is . . . . . . . . ANNIE DEPRESSANT. Annie gets up on stage with tears on her eyes as she takes the microphone from Mademoiselle as she holds onto her little Cassandra trophy, which is a miniature statue of Cassandra in her banana dress. “Me? Oh my! I haven’t won something in so long I was starting to feel like Cassandra back in Season 3 and...well every season. Anyway, i’d like to thank the sub for voting for me, Stephen Mcfeely for writing the movie, and Thanos for being a total dom-top zaddy of my dreams. What else could a girl want!” The crowd cheers for her before booing her off so they can continue to the next category. MOST LIKELY TO WEAR WHITE IN SOMEONE ELSE’S WEDDING HOSTED BY ERATHELLE AND SARDONYX The pair walked out in their Cruella de Vil eleganza. Erathelle wears an ostrich black-and-white feather jacket with Cruella's face sewed onto it with sequins, a pair of red velvet thigh-highs and scarlet triangular glasses paired with a huge blonde ponytail that has a red streak running through it. Sardonyx wears an asymmetrical silver rhinestoned dress that extends in a sharp twisting of the fabric down towards the right leg, a pair of mismatched black-and-white thigh-highs and a long blonde and brunette ponytail. Era: Hello girls! It's us, the RD3 icons, SardyEra, or as Fanta likes to call us, Dumb and Dumber! Sardonyx: We were the ones chosen to introduce "Most likely to wear white at somebody else's wedding" because we are the only ones with a chance of getting married. Era: I personally think I am the one with the biggest chance of being divorced. Sardonyx: Until death does us apart? Not so long for Era. Era; And the complete opposite for Cassandra. Do you know what Cassandra's husband told her on the wedding day? "I'm so glad you could take the day off of school!" Sardonyx; A wedding is always an important moment in life. And there are always three rings involved. Era; The engagement ring. Sardonyx: The wedding ring. Era: And the suffering. Sardonyx: That's Madem's favorite you bdsm slut. Era: So without further ado let’s start this party! Sardonyx: Give it up for our nominees! We couldn't get Acid Betty tonight so instead we got Basic Betty. Applause for Skarlet Diamond! Era: Just like Acid Betty, Skarlet is a triple threat; she's got diabetes, obesity and high blood pressure. She's gotten them from all that salt in her veins after losing ADR. Sardonyx: I mean, huh, yeah, she does look pretty big on TV. She looks like Latrice Royale cast in white marble. But unlike Latrice Royale, she has no partner in her life. And that's a shame. Every queen needs a king, but judging by her body, the only king is Burger King. She is so fat that when she walks into any McDonalds her wifi connects. Era: I do feel bad for her, because everyone says she lives in the shadow of Anita. But what people don't realize is that she doesn't fit in the shadow of Anita. Sardonyx: Speaking of Anita, she is our second nominee. She is the queen on everyone’s lips, and I mean that metaphorically because otherwise we would have herpes. Her body is so fake it makes Madem's kindness look real.Era: But she does look pretty fuckable tonight. And she has been fucked... by the system. What do you call a gay Asian midget? A low blow. Sardonyx: And that's how she got out of prison last week. Everyone keeps telling me that I robbed her of her win on the third ep of Dragula, but I'm not the criminal here. Anita has fucked more underage white boys than crystal meth. Anita has fucked more underage white boys than Kevin Spacey! Era: Right, my love, before we talk about our next nominee we need to talk about the ones that turned down the offer. Sardonyx: Starry Wisdom wouldn't have declined this if she was lucid when we asked her. Era: Portia would have agreed to get this award, if anyone would have asked her. Sardonyx: Smacahoe knew she wouldn't have gotten this award so she just said no. Era: So! We've got Elle. My girl, as your fellow club 96 sister, I need to tell you something: watch out for the enemies. Last week I was talking to Skarlet and she just goes "Elle's makeup skills look like if she did her mug on a treadmill!" Sardonyx: Wow, she's the one to talk. Era: Mhm. And I thought "how the fuck does Skarlet know what a treadmill is?". And I did realize that she was lying. Because you have no makeup skills. Sardonyx: The only white she wears at someone’s wedding is that chalk she smudges on her face to contour. Era: Well It’s time to announce the winner who is . . . . . . . . . . PART 3 COMING OUT IN LIKE AN HOUR
2016.04.20 18:19 GreatZapper100 days to the 100th, day 61: 1977
The 61st International 500 Mile Sweepstakes was held at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway in Speedway, Indiana on Sunday, May 29, 1977. Considered one of the most historically significant editions of the Indianapolis 500, several sidebar stories complemented the unprecedented accomplishment of race winner A. J. Foyt. Foyt became the first driver to win the Indianapolis 500 four times. As of 2015, Foyt's record has been tied by Al Unser and Rick Mears, but still stands as an Indy record. It was this race that saw the last time the winning car had both a body, and engine built entirely within the United States. During the summer of 1976, the entire track was repaved in asphalt. It marked the first time since the bricks were laid in the fall of 1909 that the Indianapolis Motor Speedway was repaved in its entirety. The surface was allowed to cure over the winter, and during a tire test in March, Gordon Johncock ran a lap of 200.401 mph, an unofficial track record. Two major stories headlined qualifying. During time trials, pole position winner Tom Sneva became the first driver to break the 200 mph barrier at the Speedway. On the final day of time trials, Janet Guthrie broke the gender barrier by becoming the first female driver to qualify for the Indy 500. At the start, Al Unser swept from the outside of the front row, and led into turn one. Tom Sneva took second. Bobby Unser settled into third. Johnny Rutherford over-revved the engine, and dropped out with gearbox failure. Janet Guthrie was in the pits early with engine trouble. She would suffer a long day of numerous frustrating pits stops. Gordon Johncock took the lead for the first time on lap 18. After Johncock pitted, A. J. Foyt led laps 27-51. Lloyd Ruby crashed in turn two and brought out the yellow on lap 49. It would be Ruby's final Indy 500. During the sequence of pit stops, Gordon Johncock came to the lead, and lead most of the laps to the midpoint. Eldon Rasmussen brought out the yellow for a spin on lap 69. He was able to continue. It was only the second, and would be the last, on-track incident of the race. At the halfway point, attrition had taken its toll during the hot day. Only 17 cars were still running. After numerous attempts to re-joined the race, Janet Guthrie finally dropped out around the halfway point, having completed only 27 laps. Gordon Johncock was the dominating leader in the second half. He took the lead again on lap 97, and led through lap 179. A. J. Foyt, Tom Sneva, and Al Unser were the closest pursuers. A long stretch of green flag racing continued until lap 159, when George Snider and Pancho Carter stalled on the track. Two cycles of pit stops remained for the leaders. Gordon Johncock continued to lead A. J. Foyt. Tom Sneva was also still on the lead lap. The three leaders made the next-to-last pits stops within one lap of each other. Johncock was beginning to complain of dehydration and heat exhaustion, and the crew doused him with water. Johncock, however, managed to return to the track with a lead of about 15–20 seconds. With 20 laps to go, Johncock still led Foyt by 10 seconds. Sneva was lurking in third place. With Johncock physically ailing, A. J. Foyt began to close the margin. Johncock made his final stop on lap 181. He took on fuel only, and the crew again doused him with water. He pulled away after a 14.7 second stop. Two laps later, Foyt made his final stop. Foyt took on right side tires and fuel, and was away in only 12.9 seconds. Johncock re-assumed the lead, but it was down to only 7 seconds. Suddenly as Johncock hit the mainstretch the next time around to complete lap 184, a huge cloud of smoke came from his car and he veered to the inside. Johncock parked the car in turn one with a broken crankshaft. Foyt inherited the lead with only 16 laps to go. Johncock climbed from his car, and hopped into the infield creek to splash some water on himself to cool off. Foyt now held a nearly 30-second lead over second place Tom Sneva. Foyt was able to cruise comfortably over the final 15 laps and became the first driver to win the Indianapolis 500 four times. The historic accomplishment was highly revered, and Foyt invited track owner Tony Hulman to ride with him in the pace car to salute the fans. It was the first and only time that Tony Hulman rode with the winner. He would die of heart failure on October 27, 1977. IMS Radio Network anchor Sid Collins did not call the race for the first time since 1951. Collins committed suicide on May 2, just before opening day, after being diagnosed with ALS. Collins was replaced by new "voice of the 500" Paul Page. Other historical milestones during the month included the first grandson of a former driver entering (Teddy Pilette) and the first father and son combination attempting to qualify for the same race (Jim and James McElreath, Jr.). However, neither Pilette nor McElreath, Jr. succeeded in making the field. Wiki link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1977_Indianapolis_500 - contains full details of the race Film: 21:40 ABC coverage Syncing of the start and finish to the IMS radio call Pictures from indycar.com EDIT 2/15/17: added indycar.com video.
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