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Babi Rossi, Menina sexy 🌸😍

2020.09.27 08:46 Mental-Product-4852 Babi Rossi, Menina sexy 🌸😍

Babi Rossi, Menina sexy 🌸😍 submitted by Mental-Product-4852 to babirossi [link] [comments]


2020.08.03 04:25 lulidorf É ERRADO EU ME APAIXONAR POR ELA?

(Sempre sonhei com a ideia do luba fazer um video ajudando a gente dando conselhos amorosos pq ele é muito sensato, então to aqui pra pedir um pouco de ajuda) Olá Luba, queridos editores, finados papelões, gatas, leds, possível convidado (que nunca tem) e turma do meu coração que estar a ver. (Sou menina, faz uma voz legal de carioca hehe) um pouco de contexto: Sempre duvidei da minha sexualidade e hoje me identifico como bi-sexy-uau. Mais ou menos em novembro do ano passado (2019) rolou festa de uma das minhas melhores amigas, onde eu conheci a quem vamos chamar de Iarls. Na época eu me considerava hétero e tinha algumas semanas que havia terminado com meu ex, mas percebi ali que Iarls atraia a minha atenção, e até disse para uma amiga minha que se eu fosse eu ficaria com ela, afinal ela também é LGBT+. Depois dessa festa eu e Iarls nos tornamos amigas No início desse ano quando ja me identificava como bi, descobri que tinha um cRuSh na Iarls, e também descobri que ela estava namorando. Quando a quarentena começou eu contei pra ela como eu me sentia em relação a ela, ela disse que quando me conheceu teve interesse em mim e que quando um dia ela terminasse ela pensa em ter algo comigo. Depois de ser sincera com ela eu comecei a superar oque sentia. Alguns meses assim depois comecei a olhar o instagram da namorada dela e cara, que menina linda, com um estilo lindo a quem vamos chamar de Garls. Sabe aquela sensação de “Será que eu quero ser el* ou eu quero el*?” eu comecei a me sentir assim com ela... e cada vez isso foi ficando um pouquinho mais forte. Achei melhor não contar pra Iarls na época pq elas estavam num relacionamento e pa
Agora elas terminaram, e faz tipo dias que isso aconteceu, eu e a Iarls temos flertado um pouco, mas a alguns dias a Garls (que tb eh minha amiga mas nao da mesma forma que a Iarls) me mandou mensagem e eu aproveitei para ser sincera com ela sobre oq eu sentia e descobri que ela sentia o mesmo, fiquei com a barriga gelada mas achei melhor contar tudo pra Iarls. Ela reagiu super bem em relação a mim, mas disse que achou meio falta de senso da Garls vir dar em cima de mim sabendo que eu sou amiga dela, afinal realmente é falta de senso e eu tambem me sentiria assim, depois ela chorou um pouco me falando sobre os problemas da relação dela com a garls Não pretendo fazer nada agora com nenhuma das duas, 1º pq estamos de quarentena né e 2º pq tudo é muito recente. Mas mesmo assim to me sentindo mal e uma pessima amiga, pq nao consigo controlar meus sentimentos e nem pretendo para de falar com a garls. enfim, o que vc acha disso tudo? loviu, bjs <3 ps. pfv nn le meu nome
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2020.07.22 01:36 amandavsa não tenho ideia para título

oi Luba, gatas, editor e turma que esta a ver, essa é uma história de um ato falho que aconteceu comigo. Quando eu tinha 11 anos eu tinha um crush em uma amiga minha e um dia, ela tinha se arrumado para ir para a escola e eu estava com ela e umas outras amigas, eu ia dizer que se ela tirasse uma foto dela ficaria muito conceitual, mas acabei dizendo “se tirasse uma foto sua ficaria muito sexy”, e todas as meninas riram de mim e ela ficou constrangida. É isso luba um beijo, <3
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2020.04.22 15:05 Historiamais18 A PLANTA FELIZ ( baseado em fatos reais)

Há quatro anos eu morri, porém reencarnei em forma de uma staphilococcus uma planta desconhecida da amazônia. Um dia claudia, uma índia, comeu uns cogumelos e me viu cantando sozinho
a partir desse momento foi amor à primeira vista ela achava que estava no pico da alucinação ( o que na verdade mostra o mundo como ele realmente é) e começou a conversar comigo, conversamos por horas, até que ela desmaiou, naquele momento o meu amor se intensificou ainda mais, ela estava la, de olhos fechados, sem consciência, me deu uma vontade enorme de roubar um beijo de sua preciosa boca, PORÉM eu era uma staphylococcus, eu não conseguia me mexer nem socorrer ela de seu coma de alto abuso de droga.
Ela dormiu lá por 47 dias, até que acordou em desespero, eu tentei me comunicar com ela, porém, ela escutava mais a minha voz. Eu entrei em profundo desespero pois eu, pedro, tinha encontrado meu primeiro amor nessa forma, de repente 2 dias após, Cláudia apareceu drogada no meu quintalzinho de novo, dessa vez eu a pedi em casamento, ela ficou muito entusiasmada e aceitou.
Mas existia uma coisa que nos impedia de casar, eu era uma planta e ela humana, então decidimos ir juntos pedir ao deus thomas que me reencarnasse como um humano. Thomas era um deus muito mesquinho, ele sempre pedia algo em troca, e quando fomos pedir que ele me transformasse em um humano ele pediu para eu bater um boquete nele, mas, novamente EU ERA A PORRA DE UMA PLANTA, porém eu ficava impressionado com o tamanho do caule dele… então mesmo sendo uma planta, eu aceitei, ele, antes de eu encher meu buço me transformou em humano para que nos dois aproveitam o momento.
PASSEI 3 HORAS CHUPANDO AQUELA MERDA :/ porém foi bom
porque agora podia ficar com a minha querida Claudia em paz sem ter que me preocupar com mais nada e podíamos ficar sozinhos em paz… levei ela pra minha humilde residencia e começamos a conversar e quando percebi tinha dormido, acordei algumas horas depois e estávamos os dois pelados e sensuais e ela também acordou e disse que tínhamos usado várias drogas pesadas na noite anterior. Levantamos da cama e fomos sair para tomar café… chegamos no Starbucks porque somos burgueses safados e quando vimos o barista nos dois ficamos abismados pois ele era o thomas, então nos deparamos com a seguinte questão, eu bati um boquete nele ou não? A resposta infelizmente foi não… então cheguei nele e perguntei.…
Ele ficou abismado com a minha pergunta, porem como ele era gay ele respondeu que eu podia, então nos dois fomos para a parte de trás e eu e Claudia chupamos ele ate ele soltar o leitinho. Foi o momento mais glorioso da minha vida
Porém percebi que nunca mais poderia visitar esse starbucks novamente. Felizes com a cara grudenta saímos de lá com o café já na barriga. enquanto saiamos da loja vimos um cara batendo em uma travesti na outra rua, eu estava meio mal porem fui para cima dele, apos eu perder a briga ele me perguntou
Eu entrei em choque com essa questão, porem tivemos uma conversa super papo reto depois e ele acabou explicando o porque de ser homofóbico, ele nos convidou para ir no apartamento dele, como não estávamos fazendo muita coisa nesse dia aceitamos.
Ao chegar lá percebemos que ele era mais rico q nós pois entramos numa mansão gigante, entramos o mordomo dele nos serviu mais café ele nos trouxe a seguinte oferta:
Se eu pagar 60.000 reais para vcs, topariam participar da orgia q vai ter hoje a noite aqui?
Eu olhei com uma cara de choque para Cláudia, porem ela sem se questionar topou.
Chegamos na orgia e ficamos entusiasmados com o número de pessoas… MAIS DE 4.000.000 PESSOAS estavam na orgia com a gente, quando eu fui falar com a Claudia virei para trás e ela já estava no meio de um sanduíche de caras… então para me enturmar me meti no meio dos cara la e vcs nem vão acreditar, eu acho que eu nunca chupei tanto pau na minha vida em uma noite só… FORAM 1.500.000 DE PAUS NA MINHA BOCA.. e não sei como mais 5.000 paus no meu cu, me arrebentei todo essa noite,
tive até que voltar de cadeira de rodas de tao arrombado q fiquei. Perguntei para Claudia se ela tinha se divertido… ela respondeu que uma menina chamada Marcelina pediu ela em casamento depois do sexo mais animal que as duas já tiveram… Claudia obviamente aceitou e me deixou.
Eu acabei ficando sem dinheiro e precisava de um sugar Daddy, então me casei com VICTOR o cara mais fucking sexy desse mundo, só de pensar nele já fico excitado… conseguimos arranjar mais dois homens para formar nosso quarteto amoroso. Nos fazíamos o sexo mais selvagem que existia nesse universo. E foi assim que eu fui de uma planta para um psicologo.
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2020.03.23 03:20 Rfowl009 How Would You Change The Sternritters? (Suggestions Included)

So I am absolutely thrilled by the news of the Bleach anime's return, and it has me thinking a lot about the Thousand-Year Blood War. I think this arc contains the biggest peaks in Bleach and I'm psyched to see it animated, but I also think its original run in the manga could use some revision. That's just my opinion, but I know that others hold it as well. Putting on our editors' hats, how about we create suggestions for how the Sternritter's abilities, backgrounds, and fates could be clarified or outright changed? -- If only just to satisfy your own picky nits and quibbles.
I'm gonna go down the whole list of them just for the sake of thoroughness. Some of the changes are small, some big. I look forward to hearing your alterations to the Sternritter and/or your (constructive, please) feedback on mine.
Obviously, this post contains spoilers for the final arc, so don't read if you don't want to know the details.
A - THE ALMIGHTY Yhwach Quincy King and Son of the Soul King
Schrift Can passively observe all possible futures and transplant the most advantageous outcome into his present. Using the active aspect of this ability swiftly drains him of energy and he can only exercise it for a short duration of time before being depleted. After absorbing the Soul King, he is able to exercise the ability without the stamina drain.
Picky Nit The pronunciation of his name is decisively explained. I personally prefer the intonation of "You-Ha-Bach" rather than "Yeh-watch." Let's swap his Mimihagi form (tired, bland and splotchy) with him reverting into his young form after absorbing the Soul King (wired, sexy and stylish). Also, I favor him reverting into his invalid state after being dealt a crucial blow from Ichigo. The idea of an all-powerful villain being trapped inside of his own body without any senses is far more brutal and satisfying to me than him outright dying, and would be a cyclical outcome for the Soul King's son.
A - THE ANTITHESIS Uryū Ishida Elite-Tier, Third Generation Sternritter
Schrift Can reverse what has occurred between any two targets of his choosing. This can be applied to reversing damage he has sustained back onto his attacker, or outright negating outcomes (like Yhwach breaking Ichigo's Bankai, for instance).
Picky Nit Have Uryū demonstrate his loyalty to Yhwach more concretely in order to justify his cover (perhaps by dueling and killing his father, Ryūken Ishida) and have his endgame be to find the perfect moment to fire his Still Silver arrow instead of laying traps around Wahrwelt. Instead of having him duel Haschwalth, have him fully participate in the final battle against Yhwach, neutralizing the Almighty's effects (I imagine an all-out melee with Yhwach battling Aizen, Ichigo, and Ūryu, who keeps instantaneously restoring Ichigo's Bankai every time the Almighty breaks it). At the battle's climax, Ishida could get up close to Yhwach and stab a Still Silver arrow into him, only for the Quincy King to grasp him by the arm and Auswählen his abilities, ending the Antithesis but poisoned to the point that his Almighty is still not functioning properly. Aizen's trickery could then be the decisive moment, with a Still Silver-infected Yhwach brutalizing him thinking he was Ichigo, only for our hero to come up from behind and deliver the finishing blow.
B - THE BALANCE Jugram Haschwalth Elite-Tier, First Generation Sternritter
Schrift Can redistribute fortune/karma within his sphere of influence. In battle, he can redirect half of all damage he receives, whether it be on his body or on his shield, back onto his opponents. He can transfer wounds onto his shield and then redistribute it against his enemies from there. He also functions as Yhwach's other half, shouldering his immense reitasu as he sleeps. He can host the Almighty, but only utilize its passive ability of observing the future. He also distributes energy gathered by his Majesty to other Sternritter (for instance, he would be integral to dispersing the energy Yhwach gathered through Auswählen to the slain elites).
Picky Nit Instead of battling Uryū Ishida, have him battle (and handily defeat) Shunsui Kyōraku after his battle with Lille Barro. In fact, in an expanded version of the final battle against Yhwach, have Haschwalth battle Shinigami like Kenpachi, Renji Abarai, and others to demonstrate just how formidable he is. I personally like the idea of him perishing by shielding Yhwach from Uryū's first Still Silver arrow with his Freund Schild. He redistributes the poison's effects from his shield onto Uryū, only for the Antithesis to reverse the attack onto him -- with Jugram quickly succumbing to the Still Silver's poison and dying at Yhwach's feet. In this scenario, the Antithesis would definitively trump the Balance.
C - THE COMPULSORY Pernida Parnkgjas Elite-Tier, Second Generation Sternritter
Schrift Can invade the nervous systems of opponents or objects through its imperceptible nerve tendrils, contorting targets however it wishes. Can also evolve itself organically or through adaptation.
Picky Nit None. Pernida is absolutely bonkers character and I love it.
D - THE DOSE DEATH DEALING Askin Nakk Le Vaar Elite-Tier, Second Generation Sternritter
Schrift Can understand and manipulate the lethal dosage of any substance, be it modifying his immunity to any threat after being exposed to it or using that ability to up the toxicity against an opponent. Can conjure bodies of poison of varying concentration and magnitude.
Picky Nit Aside from changing his Schrift title, I have no recommended changes. Askin rules.
E - THE EXPLODE Bambietta Basterbine Mid-Tier, Third Generation Sternritter
Schrift Can force pinpointed pockets of reishi to condense until they combust, creating massive explosions. She can also gather reishi and direct it as energy blasts that explode on contact.
Picky Nit Give her a 'true death' that puts her out of her misery. I personally would have liked to have seen Rukia score an extra victory by destroying Bambietta's zombified body. Also; have Bambietta openly jockeying for a position on Yhwach's Schutzstaffel throughout the arc, foreshadowing the Elite force.
F - THE FEAR Äs Nödt Mid-Tier, Third Generation Sternritter
Schrift Can weaponize reishi into thorns that sow paralyzing fear into those they cut. In Vollständig, his very visage can instill his Fear through an opponents' optic nerve. Can sprout a monstrous, gigantic form as an all-out offense.
Picky Nit I will forever bang the drum that he should have successfully killed Byakuya during the first invasion. Furthermore, I wish that his last gambit was to unleash Senbonzakura Kageyoshi against Rukia before she activated her Bankai. I think it would have been very powerful for Rukia to have trumped her fallen's brother own Bankai by freezing and shattering all of the petals along with Äs Nödt.
G - THE GLUTTON Liltotto Lamperd Mid-Tier, Third Generation Sternritter
Schrift Can consume conceivably anything, including eating opponents whole. Can swallow incoming attacks and then spit them in return fire (for example, she could swallow a Cero and then fire it back against an opponent). In Vollständig, she can utilize the abilities of opponents she has consumed.
Picky Nit Have her surrender after the Auswählen and be the only Sternritter to survive the Thousand Year Blood War.
H - THE HEAT Bazzard Black aka Bazz-B Mid-Tier, First Generation Sternritter
Schrift Utilizes reishi as heat, creating flame attacks of varying degrees and magnitude.
Picky Nit Let's excise his backstory with Haschwalth and replace that bit of history with him, Jugram, and Lille Barro being the first children to survive an Auswählen when Yhwach purged a town during his early conquests. After Yhwach commits another Auswählen to resurrect his Elites in the Royal Realm, have a unsurprised-but-disappointed Bazz-B reveal that he had stored his own Vollständig in one of the medallions reserved for stealing Bankai. He activates it and regains his full power for his battle against Haschwalth.
I - THE IRON Cang Du Mid-Tier, Second Generation Sternritter
Schrift Has the most concentrated Blut Vene of any Sternritter, making his body impregnable when he focuses it on vulnerable points. Among the most tactically savvy fighters of the Quincy.
Picky Nit Have Hitsugaya (or Kensei, perhaps) kill him in battle instead of Haschwalth executing him later. A potential fatality for him: Hitsugaya somehow bypasses his impregnable skin and freezes him internally, rendering him like a statue.
J - THE JAIL Quilge Opie Low-Tier, First Generation Sternritter
Schrift Can bind opponents with reishi chains of varying durability. In Vollständig, he can construct an impregnable prison for non-Quincy enemies.
Picky Nit Don't have him absorb Ayon, because 1) I'm not a fan of his buff, monstrous form and 2) that ability is never referenced again (except for Yhwach against Ichibē, but then it's such a powerful ability that maybe it makes sense for only the Quincy King being able to do it). Furthermore; have all the other Quincy abilities he demonstrates resurface throughout the rest of the arc, with other Sternritter utilizing techniques like reishi swords or Ransōtengai.
K - THE KNOWLEDGE BG9 Low-Tier, Third Generation Sternritter
Schrift Can rapidly collect data on opponents' defensive and offensive capabilities, augmenting its body based on analysis and dispersing the collected information instantaneously to other Sternritter.
Picky Nit Let's have BG9 be the Wandenreich's technology arm who devised and constructed the medallions to steal Bankai. Also, just have BG9 perish when blasted by Suì-Fēng's Bankai instead of being executed later by Haschwalth.
L - THE LIGHTNING Candice Catnipp Mid-Tier, Third Generation Sternritter
Schrift Utilizes reishi as electricity, creating lightning attacks of various magnitude.
Picky Nit Aside from shifting her letter from T (Thunderbolt) to L (Lightning); don't off-panel her death. I personally would have preferred Byakuya to have died earlier in the arc, so I suggest that Candice be defeated by a freed Tier Harribel.
M - THE MIRACLE Gerard Valkyrie Elite-Tier, Second Generation Sternritter
Schrift As the 'Heart' of the Soul King, Gerard can transform injury into energy -- restructuring his body in response to adversity and overcoming any challenge. He will continue to grow more powerful after defeat so long as his heart is active.
Picky Nit Let's give him a true death: have the Shinigami become privy to his actual identity as the Soul King's 'Heart,' and Toshiro devise a plan to actually kill him. This is where having Tier Harribel around comes in handy: Kenpachi holds Gerard in place by gripping his ankle while Harribel and Hitsugaya jointly fire a blast, their combined elements of water and ice fueling each other into an enormous icicle spear that pierces Gerard right through the chest, encasing his Heart in Hitsugaya's ability-negating ice. With his heart isolated and unable to conjure further miracles, Gerard's lifeless body topples over.
N - THE NAVIGATOR Robert Accutrone Mid-Tier, First Generation Sternritter
Schrift Harnesses collected reishi through his pistols to deliver highly concentrated Heilig Pfeil. In Vollständig, he can direct his bullets' trajectory to track moving targets, making his blasts much harder to dodge. Has the most adept Hirenkyaku of the Sternritter, making him the most agile.
Picky Nit Give him a proper fight, perhaps against Rose and/or Kensei. Doesn't he make you wish that Coyote Starrk had survived the Arrancar arc? Would have loved to have seen them duel it out, the Primera Espada fending off The Navigator to buy time for Nelliel to free Tier Harribel from Yhwach's chamber. Instead of having him be the sole Sternritter killed by the Auswählen, have him survive and surrender like Liltotto, only for him to be brutally executed for doing something unforgivable like gunning down Hanatarō Yamada during the first invasion.
O - THE OVERKILL Driscoll Berci Mid-Tier, Second-Generation Sternritter
Schrift His reishi attacks actively corrode the reiatsu of an opponent, weakening them. Conversely, he becomes stronger the more his bloodlust intensifies. So he can become stronger while gradually making an opponent weaker.
Picky Nit Aside from changing the nature of his Schrift, I have no further changes. Big loathsome brute; very satisfying death.
P - THE PRIZEFIGHTER Meninas McAllon Mid-Tier, Third Generation Sternritter
Disclaimer All credit for the 'Prizefighter' Schrift idea belongs to the Reddit user Sparowes, who invented it in a Bleach forum thread four years ago. I claim no responsibility for the idea; I'm just a fan.
Schrift Possesses the most concentrated Blut Arterie among the SternRitter, giving her the greatest physical might (barring Gerard Valkyrie's evolutions). In Vollständig, she can rope herself and a selected opponent off within a reishi prism, the close proximity forcing opponents to fight her hand-to-hand, where she has an advantage.
Picky Nit Meninas isn't a very interesting character, so let's have some fun: have her and Liltotto attack the chair-bound Aizen together. Liltotto swallows Aizen whole, only to realize that he had activated some form of Kyoka Suigetsu and tricked her. Coughing up Meninas' cap, she realizes in horror that she had eaten her comrade instead. However, Liltotto inherits Meninas' strength as a result and she later utilizes the Prizefighter ability while in her Vollständig form, perhaps in a duel against a fellow brawler like Kenpachi or Renji.
Q - THE QUESTION Berenice Gabrielli Low-Tier, First-Generation Sternritter
Schrift If allowed to carry out her hypnosis ritual of posing "The Question," she can break opponents' sanity, robbing them of their ability to utilize their reiatsu and induce doubt in their own reality.
Picky Nit Have Berenice actually demonstrate her ability -- I suggest on Ikkaku and Yumichika, breaking their minds before Jerome Guizbatt blasts them across the Seireitei with his roar. This would make it all the more satisfying when she attempts the same ritual against Kenpachi, only to be surprised when he reaches out and tears out her throat because he was temporarily deafened. During the ensuing training arc, Ikkaku and Yumichika could regain their sanity through group therapy with Isane (lol).
R - THE REVERB Jerome Guizbatt Low-Tier, Second Generation Sternritter
Schrift Can induce tremors in surrounding reiatsu, completely leveling surroundings that are comprised of it (like the Seireitei). Can harness his ability into a targeted roar, devastating those in the blast's trajectory.
Picky Nit Have Jerome demonstrate his ability, flattening broad swaths of the Seireitei and obliterating scores of Shinigami, making it all the more satisfying when Kenpachi charges against his roar and bisects him. Also, no need for the ape-like transformation.
S - THE SUPERSTAR Mask de Masculine Mid-Tier, Third Generation Sternritter
Schrift His Blut Vene and Blut Arterie are spiked by encouragement. He can recover from wounds and strengthen his abilities through the cheering of his other half, James. Monstrously strong and capable of devastating energy attacks.
Picky Nit Reveal that James was the true original, and Mask de Masculine was a celebrity who he idolized and manifests as an alter ego. Also; have his battle pre-Renji play out against Hisagi, Ikkaku, and Yumichika instead of Rose and Kensei. Turn the Lieutenants into fodder instead of the captains; solving a big gripe many readers have against Mask's power scaling.
T - THE TEMPEST Saskura Volpur Elite-Tier, Second Generation Sternritter
Schrift Envelopes her sphere of influence with reiatsu that behaves like a storm; deploying cyclones, lightning, magma, and typhoons against opponents. In Vollständig, she can augment her body into elements such as earth, wind, and fire (dancing in September).
Explanation Yeah, I'm inventing a new Sternritter out of whole cloth here. The truth is that I really can't stand Pepe Waccabrada and would happily erase him altogether. Shift Candice Catnipp over to his letter L, and you free up a new character to inhabit the letter T - The Tempest. I envision Saskura as a stern, Templar-type in the mold of Satsuki Kiryuin from Kill la Kill. I think the Schutzstaffel could use some feminine presence, so let's have her be among the Elites, ever-present at Yhwach's side along with Haschwalth. She could be the blustery yin to the Balance's yang. Give her an enormous claymore and fanatical devotion to Yhwach, and you have a formidable opponent for someone like Yoruichi or Retsu Unohana, should the latter have survived her training with Kenpachi.
U - THE UNDERBELLY NaNaNa Najahkoop Low-Tier, Third Generation Sternritter
Schrift Can analyze an opponents' reiatsu and then target their spiritual profile's pressure points. His ultimate ability is netting an opponent inside a Morphine Pattern, which leaks out their reiatsu and temporarily paralyzes them.
Picky Nit Let's make NaNaNa a little more impactful to the story. Instead of using his Morphine Pattern on Aizen, have him use it against Ichigo during his melee with all the Sternritter, rendering our hero temporarily vulnerable to attack, requiring allies like to Renji, Rukia, or even Aizen from his chair to step in and defend him. I think Rose should defeat and kill NaNaNa, closing the loop of their match from the first invasion.
V - THE VISIONARY Gremmy Thoumeaux Elite-Tier, Third Generation Sternritter
Schrift Can birth any weapon he imagines from surrounding reishi, giving him a limitless arsenal. His handicap is that his imagination is not particularly creative.
Picky Nit I think downgrading Gremmy's ability from "can imagine anything into being" to "can imagine any weapon into being" would go a long way towards addressing a lot of complaints about him. It still makes him extremely formidable while removing questions of, say, why he doesn't just turn Kenpachi's bones into cookies. And you'd still get him birthing a comet from the sky, which I enjoyed.
W - THE WIND Nianzol Weizol Mid-Tier, Second Generation Sternritter
Schrift Can bend the trajectory of any incoming attack that he chooses, utilizing reishi to curve away virtually anything that he can perceive.
Picky Nit Foreshadow Nianzol throughout the arc by having any attack aimed at Yhwach mysteriously negated. It can even be remarked upon that no attacks seem to connect with Yhwach as early as the first invasion, making Nianzol's reveal a real "ohhhhh" moment.
X - THE X-AXIS Lille Barro Elite-Tier, First Generation Sternritter
Schrift Can puncture anything that is within his rifle's crosshairs, bypassing any obstacles and overcoming any defense. In Vollständig, he can become intangible while maintaining his puncturing abilities.
Picky Nit I personally didn't like how long Lille's battle dragged out and I thought his avian form was one transformation too many, so here's my suggestion: alter Shunsui's Bankai so that it plays out as a performance before an asauchi audience in the underwater realm, and that the actual ability is that the Zanpakuto will keep the spirit of whoever it believes put on a better show. The Withered Pine Lovers' Suicide functions as a play with Shunsui and Lille as its performers. Lille wins the fight, so Katen Kyōkotsu chooses to keep him as its object of adulation because the asauchi find him to be such a charismatic character, submerging him forever into the Bankai's sea realm with applause (this would reinforce why Shunsui's Bankai is so risky to use; it could just as easily have taken him if they had not been impressed by Lille). Shunsui emerges from his Zanpakuto mortally wounded, crumbling to his death, with Lille trapped inside of his Zanpakuto. We watch this play out, only to rewind to before Shunsui activates his Bankai. Haschwalth, having seen the outcome of the fight with the Almighty, awakens Yhwach and informs him that Lille would inevitably lose in a fashion that left his ample energy irretrievable. Yhwach cuts his losses and conducts Auswählen on Lille, his first and most loyal Sternritter. A powerless Lille, before he can process the betrayal, is cut down by Shunsui, who has no gripes with seizing the advantage in battle.
Y - THE YOURSELF Lloyd Royd & Royd Lloyd Mid-Tier, Second Generation Sternritters
Schrift Can shape-shift into anyone whose reiatsu they have observed and understood, adopting their memories and techniques as well. They do not mimic strength.
Picky Nit Just have the brothers be identical in abilities, and inverse their names instead of one being called "Lloyd Lloyd." When Kenpachi attacks Royd's copy of Yhwach, Haschwalth or Saskura intervenes and wrecks him without Royd having to lift a finger, avoiding any power-scaling questions.
Z - THE ZOMBIE Giselle Gewelle Mid-Tier, Third Generation Sternritter
Schrift Can enslave weak or weakened enemies by exposing them to her blood. Can do the same to fellow Quincy, but only when they are already dead. She can also repurpose limbs for herself or allies.
Picky Nit If you're going to include Giselle's transgenderism, reveal it with more tact than Yumichika did. Having the only transgender character in the entire series be a depraved villain is already touchy enough. Maybe only reference it with a pre-Sternritter flashback; just don't turn it into a sick joke used to mock the character. That aside; I think a very satisfying death for Giselle would be for Shinji Hirako to activate his Bankai, reversing all loyalty. Giselle's zombies turn against her and eat her alive.
So those are my alterations to the Sternritter. Can't wait to hear your ideas! :)
submitted by Rfowl009 to bleach [link] [comments]


2020.02.05 03:17 buzzbuzzmaster A primeira broxada ninguém esquece

A vida é dura, todo mundo sabe, mas às vezes não queremos saber de moleza. É aquele momento em que o show vai começar, o palco tá ali pronto pra ser usado, mas o batera não tá afim. E você fica lá, na tentativa, esperando por um sinal de vida e nada. É uma broxada, caro amigo/a. A causa pouco importa, mas o sentimento de derrota, de 7x1 tá ali.
No começo da minha vida sexual eu combatia outro problema, que era a queimada de largada. Aprendi a me controlar bem, porém a duras penas, pois o baterista tava a 140bpm e cansava rápido. Sabe como é. Tinha essa guria na faculdade: belo sorriso, nariz lindo, cabelo cacheado e sexy. Seu curso era no meu bloco, então a via quase todo dia e rolava aqueles olhares interessados. Até sorrisinho em uma situação ou outra, mas sem conversa. Por sorte ela pegava o mesmo ônibus que eu, que ia meio cheio, o que a levou sentar ao meu lado. Aquele papo-furado, "ah oi tudo bom", risadinha e o motorista metido a Aírton Senna faz uma curva fechada e o corpo dela se joga no meu, ela coloca a mão na minha perna pelo susto e dá aquele olhar de "E AGORA SEU FDP". A chamei pra sair, claro.
Saímos uma noite. Divertida. Piroca ali curiosa com a movimentação, mas sabia muito bem que não era dia de show. No máximo ensaio. Pegação inocente, um mão mais arrojada aqui e ali. Saímos outra vez e mais uma. Os beijos só ficavam mais safados, assim como as mãos dela, que faziam mão boba no meu pau. Em troca, eu fazia mão boba em seu bumbum durinho. Nada como uma boa troca.
Isso tinha que ter um fim, já estava demais, tesão lá em cima. E daí rola o artifício, que na época era assistir um DVD. Sou pré-Netflix, cambada. Ela foi no meu humilde apartamento de 1 quarto. Na época eu não tinha sofá. Só fui ter sofá muitos anos depois, assim como outras coisas na casa. A máquina de lavar era mais importante, assim como o fogão. Prioridades. Pra substituir eu tinha um colchão de solteiro, que colocava no chão quando precisava.
Ela chega, o filme começa e nem dá 10 minutos e a beijação acontece. Ela começa com a mão boba, o que significa para mim que tô liberado pra explorar o seu corpo. Então digo "coloca sua mão dentro da bermuda" e ela põe e começa a brincar. O garoto fica todo pimpão. Daí ela larga: "eu nunca peguei em um antes" e me olha nos olhos, com um sorriso envergonhado. Ela era virgem. Na hora não sei o que me deu, fiquei nervoso. Foi como a primeira vez que toquei com banda em um bar. Foi o mesmo nervoso, pois sabia que tinha que a apresentação tinha que ser boa.
Eu estava mentalmente excitado, mas o corpo não acompanhava. Eu me foquei nela. Ela era magrinha sabe, tinha seios bonitos, a barriguinha sexy, pernas bem torneadas, bumbum durinho. Ela era um tesão. Na hora eu não entendia o pq me sentia assim, deveria ser o contrário. Meu pinto deveria estar tão duro quanto um prego, com as veias quase estourando só de olhar pra vagina dela, que era bem gordinha pra uma menina tão magra. Eu estava meia bomba, e ela molhada. Usei meus dedos. Minha língua. Ela gozou. Estava me desviando dela, pra não perceber. Tava ali tentando alegrar o amigão, mas nada. Tava com vergonha da situação, obviamente, nessas horas nada acontece.
Ela queria ação. Eu também queria, mas tinha perdido o tesão. Ela me falava "quero você" ou "me come" e eu não sabia o que fazer. Tive que ser sincero, falei de um jeito nada interessante que tava cansado e que tinha jogado bola o dia todo (mintira). Ela ficou visivelmente decepcionada e também broxou. Achei que ia embora ou algo assim, mas não. Ficou comigo, me abraçou. Dormimos de conchinha.
Ao acordar penetrei naquela vagina apertada e molhada. Foi muito natural e segundo ela, sentiu pouca dor. Eu nunca tinha tirado virgindade de ninguém. Tentei ser o mais cuidadoso possível e ela curtiu.
E namoramos durante um ano.
submitted by buzzbuzzmaster to sexualidade [link] [comments]


2020.01.23 03:02 Historiamais18 A PLANTA FELIZ ( baseado em fatos reais )


Há quatro anos eu morri, porém reencarnei em forma de uma staphilococcus uma planta desconhecida da amazônia. Um dia claudia, uma índia, comeu uns cogumelos e me viu cantando sozinho
a partir desse momento foi amor à primeira vista ela achava que estava no pico da alucinação ( o que na verdade mostra o mundo como ele realmente é) e começou a conversar comigo, conversamos por horas, até que ela desmaiou, naquele momento o meu amor se intensificou ainda mais, ela estava la, de olhos fechados, sem consciência, me deu uma vontade enorme de roubar um beijo de sua preciosa boca, PORÉM eu era uma staphylococcus, eu não conseguia me mexer nem socorrer ela de seu coma de alto abuso de droga.
Ela dormiu lá por 47 dias, até que acordou em desespero, eu tentei me comunicar com ela, porém, ela escutava mais a minha voz. Eu entrei em profundo desespero pois eu, pedro, tinha encontrado meu primeiro amor nessa forma, de repente 2 dias após, Cláudia apareceu drogada no meu quintalzinho de novo, dessa vez eu a pedi em casamento, ela ficou muito entusiasmada e aceitou.
Mas existia uma coisa que nos impedia de casar, eu era uma planta e ela humana, então decidimos ir juntos pedir ao deus thomas que me reencarnasse como um humano. Thomas era um deus muito mesquinho, ele sempre pedia algo em troca, e quando fomos pedir que ele me transformasse em um humano ele pediu para eu bater um boquete nele, mas, novamente EU ERA A PORRA DE UMA PLANTA, porém eu ficava impressionado com o tamanho do caule dele… então mesmo sendo uma planta, eu aceitei, ele, antes de eu encher meu buço me transformou em humano para que nos dois aproveitam o momento.
PASSEI 3 HORAS CHUPANDO AQUELA MERDA :/ porém foi bom
porque agora podia ficar com a minha querida Claudia em paz sem ter que me preocupar com mais nada e podíamos ficar sozinhos em paz… levei ela pra minha humilde residencia e começamos a conversar e quando percebi tinha dormido, acordei algumas horas depois e estávamos os dois pelados e sensuais e ela também acordou e disse que tínhamos usado várias drogas pesadas na noite anterior. Levantamos da cama e fomos sair para tomar café… chegamos no Starbucks porque somos burgueses safados e quando vimos o barista nos dois ficamos abismados pois ele era o thomas, então nos deparamos com a seguinte questão, eu bati um boquete nele ou não? A resposta infelizmente foi não… então cheguei nele e perguntei.…
Ele ficou abismado com a minha pergunta, porem como ele era gay ele respondeu que eu podia, então nos dois fomos para a parte de trás e eu e Claudia chupamos ele ate ele soltar o leitinho. Foi o momento mais glorioso da minha vida
Porém percebi que nunca mais poderia visitar esse starbucks novamente. Felizes com a cara grudenta saímos de lá com o café já na barriga. enquanto saiamos da loja vimos um cara batendo em uma travesti na outra rua, eu estava meio mal porem fui para cima dele, apos eu perder a briga ele me perguntou
Eu entrei em choque com essa questão, porem tivemos uma conversa super papo reto depois e ele acabou explicando o porque de ser homofóbico, ele nos convidou para ir no apartamento dele, como não estávamos fazendo muita coisa nesse dia aceitamos.
Ao chegar lá percebemos que ele era mais rico q nós pois entramos numa mansão gigante, entramos o mordomo dele nos serviu mais café ele nos trouxe a seguinte oferta:
Se eu pagar 60.000 reais para vcs, topariam participar da orgia q vai ter hoje a noite aqui?
Eu olhei com uma cara de choque para Cláudia, porem ela sem se questionar topou.
Chegamos na orgia e ficamos entusiasmados com o número de pessoas… MAIS DE 4.000.000 PESSOAS estavam na orgia com a gente, quando eu fui falar com a Claudia virei para trás e ela já estava no meio de um sanduíche de caras… então para me enturmar me meti no meio dos cara la e vcs nem vão acreditar, eu acho que eu nunca chupei tanto pau na minha vida em uma noite só… FORAM 1.500.000 DE PAUS NA MINHA BOCA.. e não sei como mais 5.000 paus no meu cu, me arrebentei todo essa noite,
tive até que voltar de cadeira de rodas de tao arrombado q fiquei. Perguntei para Claudia se ela tinha se divertido… ela respondeu que uma menina chamada Marcelina pediu ela em casamento depois do sexo mais animal que as duas já tiveram… Claudia obviamente aceitou e me deixou.
Eu acabei ficando sem dinheiro e precisava de um sugar Daddy, então me casei com VICTOR o cara mais fucking sexy desse mundo, só de pensar nele já fico excitado… conseguimos arranjar mais dois homens para formar nosso quarteto amoroso. Nos fazíamos o sexo mais selvagem que existia nesse universo. E foi assim que eu fui de uma planta para um psicologo.
submitted by Historiamais18 to u/Historiamais18 [link] [comments]


2019.09.30 20:47 MundodaAvaliacoes como puxar assunto com uma mulher

Se você quer saber como puxar assunto com uma mulher e é tímido, esqueça este passado.
A seguir, você verá as melhores ideias para iniciar um assunto com qualquer garota, seja na rua, na escola, trabalho etc.
Por isso, confira agora mesmo a primeira dica e como ela funciona na prática!

Índice de Conteúdo

Clique aqui para ler o artigo completo!


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Fonte: https://doceconquista.com.b
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submitted by MundodaAvaliacoes to u/MundodaAvaliacoes [link] [comments]


2019.08.25 00:22 KokishinNeko Subreddit Stats: portugal top posts from 2018-08-24 to 2019-08-22 19:51 PDT

Period: 363.06 days
Submissions Comments
Total 1000 79747
Rate (per day) 2.75 218.62
Unique Redditors 657 8974
Combined Score 448634 626594

Top Submitters' Top Submissions

  1. 5769 points, 16 submissions: MeltzerIsMyDaddy
    1. Quem quer namorar com o S̷̜̱̬̺͓͖͛̍́̿̽͠r̶̛̜͙̟̘̪̀̍̋͋̔̄͝.̶̳͓̯̰͎̠̎͜ͅ ̵̱͈̩̅͒̾̿͒́͠E̸̻͖̯̲̘͗̌͂͂͆̂̋͛͋͘n̷̻̥̽̋̍̀̄̀g̶̛̗̲̣̙͑̎́̌̍̚e̸̡̮̣̻͉̼̔̔͘n̶̛͈̯̝̺̊͋͋́͐̽̾͜͝h̸̟̰̣̞̝̱͖̒̈́͋e̶̺̜̪̍́̀͌̿̊͗̽̚̕͜į̶͈͚̻͖̔̐͛̏͊̒̄̑͜ͅr̵̭̫̻͆̉̓͜o̸̢̮̳͖͔̊ Agricultor? (749 points, 32 comments)
    2. PSP alerta para novidade tecnológica nos carros (616 points, 81 comments)
    3. Alta de Coimbra, década de 1930, Portugal (566 points, 69 comments)
    4. Sites de "Fake News" em Portugal (535 points, 250 comments)
    5. Spent the whole morning exploring Mosteiro dos Jerónimos, this natural hidden gem in Lisbon. Definitely the biggest surprise in the town in our opinion. (525 points, 60 comments)
    6. Autocarro urbano espetou-se contra um talho em Viseu esta manhã (375 points, 92 comments)
    7. RTP1 - Era uma vez um cuco que não gostava de couves (345 points, 35 comments)
    8. Portugal: Por cada 100 carros vendidos 5 já são elétricos (288 points, 187 comments)
    9. O grande "Tó Madeira" no trailer do Football Manager 2019. (287 points, 26 comments)
    10. E com 10 anos de atraso, SIC passa a emitir em HD. (285 points, 123 comments)
  2. 5313 points, 11 submissions: Jumpyer
    1. Porto, a cidade das gruas (751 points, 157 comments)
    2. Cuidado com o Miguel (705 points, 47 comments)
    3. O estagiário está com preguiça hoje (666 points, 57 comments)
    4. Quem estiver aborrecido com GoT, pode ver a versão tuga (664 points, 90 comments)
    5. O estagiário CM também queria participar no meme day (578 points, 12 comments)
    6. Manneken Pis vestido a rigor (420 points, 9 comments)
    7. Portugal faz hoje oficialmente 840 anos (385 points, 86 comments)
    8. Quando contas até 100 (365 points, 6 comments)
    9. Isto é a sério? (291 points, 154 comments)
    10. Resolvido o problema para quem não é de esquerda nem direita (280 points, 65 comments)
  3. 4769 points, 10 submissions: touny71
    1. Cristiano Ronaldo, viola portuguesa (1243 points, 92 comments)
    2. Turista brasileira salta do tabuleiro da ponte D. Luís.. Nua (635 points, 188 comments)
    3. Há 2 anos, 2 meses e 2 dias festejávamos assim. Obrigado Éder (623 points, 89 comments)
    4. Praça de touros na cratera de um vulcão. Graciosa, Açores (558 points, 74 comments)
    5. Faz hoje 1000 dias. Choremos um pouco (478 points, 51 comments)
    6. João Sousa e as meias-finais: “Estamos muito felizes, o trabalho duro compensa” (387 points, 15 comments)
    7. Está confirmado que a morte de uma idosa no prédio comprado por investidores chineses teve mão criminosa. (262 points, 74 comments)
    8. A SIC entrevistou um guarda prisional que estava no motim no EPL para contar o que se passou , cara tapada e voz distorcida para preservar a identidade. Depois fez uma entrevista ao representante do sindicato..que usava o mesmo casaco (255 points, 33 comments)
    9. Tourada é cultura. Fugir como um cobarde, faz parte (168 points, 301 comments)
    10. Animais do Gerês filmados por câmaras de trilho (160 points, 50 comments)
  4. 4006 points, 1 submission: Camarna
    1. Look who's coming to visit (4006 points, 71 comments)
  5. 3990 points, 8 submissions: gamma-ray-bursts
    1. A lembrar o passado: fui visitar uma vila pequena, pacata e envelhecida nos arredores de Coimbra: Espinhal. Lá encontrei esta mercearia à moda dos tempos que há muito já passaram. A dona já idosa diz que foi passada de geração em geração desde os avós dela. Deu-me uma certa nostalgia. (1010 points, 55 comments)
    2. Unhais da Serra, às portas da Serra da Estrela, ontem (603 points, 34 comments)
    3. [OC] Farol de "Aveiro" à noite (574 points, 37 comments)
    4. Farol da Barra de Aveiro, Verão (568 points, 53 comments)
    5. Coimbra, Portugal, a minha cidade preferida (497 points, 118 comments)
    6. Covilhã Paixão! (289 points, 51 comments)
    7. Nas entranhas de Portugal: Tortosendo (271 points, 38 comments)
    8. [OC] Mosteiro de Alcobaça (interior) (178 points, 8 comments)
  6. 3986 points, 6 submissions: VladTepesDraculea
    1. Pera... (1821 points, 65 comments)
    2. Enviaram-me um recorte de jornal sobre o cão do meu tio. O autor deste artigo levou 5 dias de choldra porque não caiu no goto do Spínola. (809 points, 69 comments)
    3. Isto de manhã está frio... (529 points, 104 comments)
    4. E o mini caixotim diz "FA-FA-FA-FA-FAK-U! (381 points, 17 comments)
    5. 💓 OLX (285 points, 79 comments)
    6. A conquistarmos o Mundo, um pastel de nata de cada vez! (161 points, 54 comments)
  7. 3954 points, 8 submissions: vcasqu
    1. Elevador da Bica. 1912 vs 2019 (823 points, 33 comments)
    2. Lisboa no inverno. (705 points, 29 comments)
    3. Rua do Ouro/Rossio. Início do século XX vs 2019 (567 points, 45 comments)
    4. Contra Relógio (do Arco da Rua Augusta) (565 points, 41 comments)
    5. “Se puderes olhar vê. Se puderes ver, repara”. José Saramago (514 points, 23 comments)
    6. Equilíbrio. Lisboa. Portugal. (354 points, 23 comments)
    7. Janelas de Lisboa. #1 (221 points, 13 comments)
    8. Terreiro do Paço, Lisboa. (205 points, 6 comments)
  8. 3950 points, 9 submissions: utilizador
    1. Lisboa, terça-feira, 27 de Junho de 1933 - Adeptos do Sporting ouvem através do rádio o jogo entre Sporting CP [3] vs FC Porto [1], em Coimbra para o desempate das meias finais do Campeonato Nacional de Portugal. (626 points, 34 comments)
    2. Começando com o hino da Espanha. (601 points, 66 comments)
    3. tremendous effort (591 points, 73 comments)
    4. Portugal in 1950 (588 points, 62 comments)
    5. para si, que é um homem... (438 points, 53 comments)
    6. Alta definição (335 points, 34 comments)
    7. Olha o robot. É prò menino e prà menina. Olha o robot. Trabalha muito e gasta pouco. Olha o robot. É muito útil pra quem manda. Olha o RADAR... em caixa de cartão? A foto é de hoje! Avenida Santos e Castro. (321 points, 76 comments)
    8. Dá jeito... o Hospital é ali perto e tudo! Road Rage Tuga Version! (286 points, 55 comments)
    9. Já tens carta? (164 points, 28 comments)
  9. 3814 points, 5 submissions: John-florencio
    1. Buraco negro visto através de um telescópio português! Incrível. (1848 points, 48 comments)
    2. Tenho feito estas ilustrações tradicionais para descansar do pc... eu divirto-me bastante a criar estas pequenas histórias! Mais nos comments. (678 points, 92 comments)
    3. Olá pessoal, vocês lembram-se desta imagem que partilhei aqui? Fiz uma uma campanha em alguns threads relacionados com o meu trabalho, e porque não fazer no Portugal também? Dou o ficheiro em alta resolução para fazerem um print (7k a 300dpi). ver comments para download. (589 points, 47 comments)
    4. CCCAPBCAD- Comité científico para a compreensão e análise das pessoas que bebem café antes de dormir. como sugerido por um user deste sub vou fazeou pelo menos tentar) um post semanal com estes velhotes. (385 points, 48 comments)
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  19. 2497 points, 7 submissions: pica_foices
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  20. 2489 points, 7 submissions: TheShowaDaily
    1. Vista Aérea do Palácio Nacional de Mafra, Um palácio e mosteiro monumental em estilo barroco joanino. Os trabalhos da sua construção iniciaram-se em 1717 por iniciativa de João V de Portugal e terminada em 1730. (543 points, 44 comments)
    2. Interior da Igreja do Convento de Cristo em Tomar, Portugal, construída no Século XII (527 points, 27 comments)
    3. “Cidade de Lisboa, Capital do Reino Portugal” pintura Japonesa do Século XVII. Museu de Kobe. Japão (453 points, 20 comments)
    4. Fidalgo Português montado em um elefante durante viagem a Nagasaki, Japão. Pintura japonesa do Século XVI. (338 points, 66 comments)
    5. Lápide do Século XIII de um “Mudéjar” de Lisboa. Muçulmanos ibéricos que permaneceram em território reconquistado pelos cristãos. A inscrição em árabe traduzida diz: Eterno é Deus. Tem compaixão conforme a sua mercê, ó tu que tudo dominas, e olha[com misericórdia] para o sítio para onde fui mandado (243 points, 50 comments)
    6. Brasão do Reino de Portugal. Escultura de Andrea Della Robbia. 1505 (223 points, 7 comments)
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2019.07.20 04:42 maynagila Autosabotagem

Depois que terminei meu namoro eu só consegui me envolver com uma pessoa. Mas vacilei com ela e perdi a única pessoa que conseguia ter conexão na cama, nos papos, com ela eu sentia vontade de ser melhor, ela é uma mulher forte, inteligente, sexy, atraente, mas dei uma leve vacilada, voltamos a nos falar mas tá mto estranho. Hoje achei um vídeo nosso e bateu uma saudade tão grande dela. Paralelo a esse momento com essa menina, eu conversava todo dia o dia todo com uma menina na Espanha, era mto massa e apesar de não ter mta paciência para conversar em wapp, com ela fluía e a gnt conversava de tudo, eu me sentia super confortável pq sabia que era uma pessoa que eu nunca iria ver, que aquilo tudo não passaria do virtual. Só que em dado momento ela me fala que tá vindo pro Brasil, achei legal o fato de nos conhecermos pessoalmente. Ela veio passamos os 5 primeiros dias vivendo intensamente tudo, entretanto depois de uma semana eu meio que fiquei sem saco e sem vontade de falar com ela e esfriei completamente com ela. Ela fica mandando msgs dizendo que tá com saudade e fico meio que falando outras coisas pq não quero mentir dizendo q eu tb estou. E ela é uma guria incrível, bonita, gostosa, papo legal, menos qndo fica querendo me cobrar as coisas,mas eu só não tô a fim.
Saí com uma menina de Goiânia semana passada e foi incrível e intenso pq eu sabia que no outro dia ela ia embora de Fortaleza e provavelmente nunca mais iria vê-la de novo.
Fico pensando que depois desse meu término, eu fico me sabotando, sempre que tem alguém legal gostando de mim eu faço merda ou crio um bloqueio com a pessoa.
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2019.06.25 07:22 parselcheese Why Zootopia is Miraculous

Is Judy Hopps a woman?
Well, duh, no. She is a rabbit. She has a Sylvaligic tail and an expressively Lagomorphic nose and when she’s frustrated she drums one foot against the ground Thumper-style.
No but really: is Judy Hopps a woman? I mean: is she just a metaphor for womanhood or is she actually a woman? Is there the idea of womanhood, even, in the world of Zootopia? It’s a bit fucked-up, having to figure all this out, but it’s all very tangled.
I’m getting ahead of myself.
So basically what I’m going to argue is that Zootopia is a kind of crazy intellectual + artistic triumph[1] of the kind that you wouldn’t really expect to come from Disney.[2] Zootopia is a Great Bit Of Art. Like up there with the Appassionata & Las Meninas – that kind of a GBOA.
Actually there’s one particular thing about Zootopia is which makes me think it’s a GBOA, and that’s that it’s by far and away the most eloquent, moving, rich, warmly imagined, and ferociously intelligent argument for liberalism[3] I’m ever come across.
Well. Since I’ve committed myself to the claim that Zootopia is a GBOA, I’ll have to mention the many other things that Zootopia does perfectly or near-:[4] the animation is gorgeous,[5] the world construction faultless,[6] the score bright and finely delineated,[7] the humour consistently on-point,[8] the characters well-defined and incredibly sympathetic,[9] plus the plot takes some vertiginous lurches that all make sense and the film runs roughshod over genre boundaries with improbable swagger.[10]
But let’s talk about Zootopia and liberalism.
Context: we don’t live in a good time for liberalism. It’s not surprising. Liberalism is lame.[11] In its political guise it constantly looks like it’s underpinned by a basic intellectual cowardice and/or incoherence. We don’t know what’s right but it’s definitely right for to let people discuss what is right + We don’t know what forms of life are good but it’s definitely good to let people pursue which forms of life they think to be good. Liberalism is political philosophy for People Who’d Much Rather Skip The Vote On This One, Sorry.[12] Which is why political liberalism’s commitment to pluralism on the basis of all human beings being free and equal[13] is so easily attacked the moment something real, tangible, urgent – like fear or terrorism or illegal immigration or whatever – pops up. Liberalism runs against the grain of our animal tendency. Also does not help that freedom and equality are, at first blush, wildly contradictory and counterintuitive[14] premises to adopt, but there you go.
And if political liberalism looks like weak pansy-ass nonsense social liberalism looks to the non-liberal dangerously totalitarian, having answered the old chestnut re What We Should Do About the Non-Liberals In Liberal Society? with a solid ah, fuck ’em. And it’s spun out a weirdly alienating discourse using words like “decolonise”, “trigger”, and “space space”, which words are applied so flexibly and indiscriminately that they’re now drained of real argumentative force. Liberalism in its social guise seems to have lost its ability to be happy about anything, even an imagined vision of its ideal future.
So it’s against this backdrop that Zootopia makes its case for one of the (not-so-many) things which political and social liberalism agree on: we should be good to people who are different from us. And it does this, incredibly, by performing an argument for liberalism[15] whose texture is consistent with the outcome it advocates.
Maybe you don’t quite get what that last sentence meant. Never mind.
Let’s talk about Judy Hopps, the rabbit.
Do you notice that she’s a woman? I mean, sure, the film makes a lot out of the fact that Judy’s a rabbit, but what about the fact that she’s also a woman?
Let’s tease this out. There are some facts about Judy that are not directly drawn from aspects of womanhood, and better interpreted as facts about rabbit-hood. The fact that she’s seen as a token bunny in the Z.P.D., or the fact that she resents being called Carrots. The bit where she tells Clawhauser that it’s OK for bunnies to call other bunnies cute, but not for other species to do so. Those things are interesting commentaries on affirmative action, casual slurs, and the delicate mechanics of word reclamation,[16] but are not really parallels to womanhood in specific.
Then there those things Judy is told that directly mirror things which are said to women in this world. Judy is told (among other things) that she “throws like a bunny”, and is asked if “all bunnies drive badly.”[17] These are stereotypes in our world about women. If you can’t throw well, you throw like a girl, and if someone takes a long time to park it’s gotta be a woman – which makes it really tempting to believe that rabbit-hood is an analogy for womanhood, and so of course Judy is not actually a woman. She doesn’t need to be, for Zootopia to get its point across. Rabbit-hood covers all the (analogical) terrain of womanhood.
Except nope. Nope nope nope. It’s part of the genius of Zootopia that – almost without you noticing – it construes Judy as Woman in the world of the film. By which I mean – as a woman, in Zootopia, she is discriminated against. She is given a little (pink) spray canister of fox repellent to protect her from foxes.[18] Can this be explained by bunny-protection-logic, as opposed to woman-protection-logic? Sure. But we’re starting to slip away from pure rabbit-ness here. And sometimes Zootopia is quite explicit: her father calls her (once during MuzzleTime, and once after she returns to Bunnyburrow in shame) Jude the Dude, which is a pretty explicit way of saying that Judy has transgressed lines of both rabbit-hood and womanhood by becoming a cop. And it also seems kind of significant that so many animals refer to Judy as meter-maid with such dismissiveness. And that she’s put off by the aggrieved masculinity she encounters from the rest of the (male) Z.P.D. police officers in the bullpen. Rabbit-hood is not an analogy to womanhood, it’s the product of a different kind of discrimination that happens to intersect with womanhood.
Here’s another idea: if rabbit-ness is (even a partial) substitute for womanhood, then why is Judy Hopps female? One possibility: because it is easier for us, as an audience, to accept and therefore believe an oppressed character who is female.
This is Part One of how Zootopia makes the case for liberal pluralism so well: it’s subtle. It takes an idea from academic intersectional theory, recognises what is clean and compelling about it (we are defined by more than one feature about us – we are an intersection of traits, as it were), and twines that so delicately into the analogy it is drawing that the idea remains both discrete and just beneath conscious awareness. Judy is oppressed: both as rabbit, and as female.
And this is all so playful: Zootopia gives you an obvious analogy (rabbit=woman), and then turns around and reminds you that Zootopia is its own world, with a real existence totally independent of analogy, but the proof of that independent existence turns out to be an idea which anchors so much of our social experience. The rabbit-metaphor really says something like this: no oppression is a metaphor for another kind of oppression. Which is true, probably, and complex, and somehow expressed in a film nominally meant for kids. (It’s important that Judy’s constructed as female in the film, by the way, precisely because she’s whip-smart & brave & determined & compassionate, a not-at-all-half-baked S.F.C., and you can’t have her be a role model for girls unless she’s actually female.)
Anyway: you see it all through the film, this commitment to the complexity of oppression. You are first introduced to Judy Hopps as victim (of a fox + the general expectation that she cannot be who she wants to be). Then she encounters Nick Wilde the fox when he’s being refused service in an ice-cream shop, in a scene so replete with segregationist-era subtext that you expect the sign the elephant references to read: WE SERVE WHITES ONLY. So fox=victim, fine. Then it turns out that Judy, because essentially kind and good, has herself become the victim of that fox’s machinations, but not before she calls Nick “an articulate fella”.[19] And then later on it turns out that Judy is also (because naive) the oppressor: her disastrous press conference sparks calls for the mandatory quarantine of predator species[20] and initiates the sort of microaggressions against predators which almost any racial minority will find eerily familiar.
Here’s another bit of complexity: there’s a moment when Chief Bogo (initially introduced as something of a bigot) disdainfully tells Judy, when she insists that a black panther has “gone savage”, that “maybe to you rabbits every predator looks savage”. Which sounds unutterably mean, until you realise that actually that’s quite an accurate description of the views which Judy’s parents hold (there’s a scene near the beginning of the movie which outlines beautifully a racist-parent & embarrassed-kid dynamic going on between them). Which in turns suggests that Bogo’s is racist/speciesist precisely because he stereotypes rabbits as racist/speciesist. The real-world equivalent of this would be assuming that, say, every Southern Republican is racist. Now this is trivially true, but the actual emotional weight of this wrongness is almost impossible to feel – except that Zootopia makes you feel it.
Part Two of Zootopia’s genius is this: it’s racist.
By which I mean: a racist could watch the film and walk out with all of their views affirmed. I mean, the film does rely on stereotypes about animals for a lot of its humour. Sloths are slow, rabbits breed fast. It’s no defence to point out that many animals don’t fit their stereotypes in the film; it’s precisely because of the stereotype that the relevant jokes are funny: Mr. Big, lord of the criminal underground, is a tiny arctic shrew, and Clawhauser the cheetah is terrifically unfit.[21]
But this is how the real world works. Racists and non- look at roughly[22] the same set of facts and derive radically different conclusions. Remember how I said above that Zootopia is an argument for liberalism whose texture is consistent with the outcome it advocates? Well, here’s one thing: as an argument, it does not compel.[23] The film offers a refutation of intolerant social liberalism by inviting the audience to participate in stereotypes, to revel in them even. You are clever, the film says, but you’re probably not wise.
And it’s the possibility of racist interpretations (because Zootopia relies on stereotypes) that also lets Zootopia offer a refutation of political liberalism – at least, as it’s often understood today. If political liberalism is committed to the factual claim that all people are actually equal then it is horrifically weak. Will it have space for those who are less mentally or physically able, for those who need our aid, for those who decide not to contribute to our social project? Zootopia says: why give a fuck if people are actually unequal? Work from the moral premise, not the factual one. Hence: Clawhauser and Flash, let alone Judy and Nick, are fully realised characters that we like, independent of whether or not they conform to stereotypes about their species. Zootopia offers as a remedy to worries about whether or not stereotypes are true or not a robust empathy: what matters is that these other people are fully alive, not that they are alive in certain ways.
Zootopia underscores this point pretty effectively, I think. So Judy (who’s more or less a perfect analogue of the university-educated, uber-socially-aware twenty-something) is revealed by Nick to be naïve in her refusal to accept any stereotypes at all, as when Nick teasingly asks her when she realizes that all the workers in the D.M.V. are sloths: “Are you saying that because he’s a sloth he can’t be fast?” And then think of the moment when Nick is confronting Judy after her press conference: think of the blind fury and sense of betrayal with which he repeats (snarls, more like) after Judy, “Primitive, savage, instincts? A biological component?” Judy is naïve, Zootopia says, because she both refuses to accept that some stereotypes can be true (sloths are slow), and because she applies some stereotypes where they shouldn’t be (foxes are dangerous). She says to Nick: you’re not that kind of predator, and you’re not like the others. But Nick knows already he has been absorbed into that other, and recognises what’s wrong in saying, you’re my friend, and not like the other [black people].
Another last problem with the Zootopia-as-racist idea is that Zootopia does suggest that stereotypes are self-fulfilling. Nick is sly and untrustworthy because his attempt to be something other than his stereotype was rebuffed, and he recoils into the stereotype (as he admits) for protection and stability. This is the least sexy (because least subversive) of all the responses to the Zootopia-as-racist accusation, but might just be the most important: it is probably the case that our essentialist generalizations are consequences of functions of the way people are brought up, of the cultures we imbibe, of the different pressures of living we are subject to.
It’s crucial to all the stuff above working that Zootopia’s world is gorgeously imagined, that the details are so exquisitely rendered, that the characters are so expressive, and that their forms of life so closely mirror our own, down to the smartphones and iPads and all the absurdly exuberant puns about Bearberry + Zuber + Fur Fighters. It’s a world that is fully alive. The argument being performed is an optimistic one, and therefore a persuasive one: this is what pluralism looks like, Zootopia says, and it looks like a good world. It draws out an intuition that is hard to articulate well about how we value difference in the people close to us: think of how you value your friends because they are not who you are.
Of course it’s possible to see in Zootopia an endorsement of essentialism, since it concedes that in the distant past predator & prey used to fear each other, and it even insists on applying the terms predator and prey to its present. But it’s kind of silly to expect a metaphor not to break down. If a metaphor didn’t break down at any point it wouldn’t be a metaphor, it’d just be this world. The point is that a good metaphor breaks down interestingly. And this metaphor does just that: Bellwether exploits precisely the predator-prey binary to stir up speciesist animus in Zootopia,[24] so that the film eventually offers a critique of its own language. Plus it’s probably true that we’re all racist by default. Any creature[25] not preprogrammed with a basic aversion[26] to living things which look different from it probably didn’t get to travel too far down the evolutionary tree. Liberal pluralism might well be right, but it sure as heck isn’t natural, just as Zootopia, eminently and gloriously, isn’t natural.
There’s another potential problem with Zootopia, and that’s the idea that in its eagerness to point out the complexity of the idea of oppression it buys into the cheap trope peddled by Avenue Q – that oppression is function not of systems and architectures but of individuals: Everyone’s A Little Bit Racist. But racism, the argument goes, is prejudice plus power. A film can’t discuss The Other if everyone in the film is The Other. The central message of Shakira’s Try Everything, the public callsign of the film’s marketing campaign, is really a placatory lie: you cannot succeed if you just try, because the world might be arrayed against you.
So is Zootopia some neoliberal shitshow – all individual, no system?
Well, no. For a start, Zootopia is pretty aware of problematic social structures: there’s a reason that it’s the lemmings that work in the banks.[27] And there are structures of oppressive power that the film introduces and does not resolve. Take the office of the Zootopia Mayor. Is it entirely a coincidence that it’s occupied by a lion? Or that Lionheart treats the Assistant Mayor, Bellweather, like crap, having put her in her position purely to get the sheep vote? Isn’t it disturbing that at the end of the film the pandering asshole Lionheart looks like he’s well on the way back to power, despite having placed predators in need of medical treatment under custody to further his political ends, and that Bellweather, who has suffered so much under Lionheart, remains imprisoned? Well, OK, maybe. I find it hard not to detect in Zootopia the suggestion that certain types of animals have an advantage when it comes to political office. It’s definitely true that Zootopia is well aware of the dangers of identity politics, however, and that’s why even if it does not go out of its way to talk about structural racism I’m not particularly bothered; Zootopia’s discussion of structural racism happens on the analogical level.[28] The point is that in this world, many structures of oppression are buttressed by appeals (from politicians like Lionheart & Bellweather) to our prejudices, our animal tendency. This is kind of obvious, but there could not be a more important time for Zootopia to be released.[29] Liberal pluralism is a good thing, Zootopia says, look at it.[30] It’s seriously moral without being condescending, and there’s little criticism that you can throw at it that it doesn’t immediately and joyfully subvert. It’s a GBOA,[31] all right. And – bless it – it’s out to save us all.
[1] I should clarify: everything I’m writing here is based purely on my memory of what I saw in the cinema, since it’s obviously impossible to buy Zootopia as of the time of writing. I’ve probably misremembered some things, but there shouldn’t be anything major.
[2] Indie-ish filmmakers have produced animated masterpieces (Wes Anderson’s Fantastic Mr Fox), as have Japanese animators (Mamoru Hosoda’s Wolf Children), but I don’t think a true capital-G Great animated film has emerged from the main current of Western animation until Zootopia. Plus a lot of Disney’s stuff is pretty dismal: both Frozen and Inside Out are either mediocre or terrible, depending on my mood.
[3] Well, a specific bit of it.
[4] GBOAs aren’t just good at one thing or another, after all.
[5] If you think about it, it’s kind of obvious that film is just the greatest art form out there, at least in the (vaguely defined) sense that the Best Possible Film must be greater than the Best Possible (e.g.) Novel/Symphony/Photograph/Painting. I mean, the BPF has got to contain everything good about the best possible Novel/Symphony/Photograph/Painting. The BPF has got certain words in a certain order – so that’s the Novel covered; it’s got a score – that’s the Symphony; it’s got a camera placed at a certain angles capturing certain objects designed in a certain way [what colour? shape? texture?] and positioned in a certain way – and that covers [lots of stuff]. And then there’s lots of things specific to the filmic medium, like camera movement and kinetic mise-en-scène and obviously the coordination of all the previously mentioned things into a single experience. Which is why a film isn’t really a kind of over-there art but more a re-experienced world. I mention all of this not to say that most films are great, because they aren’t: more opportunities for artistic exploration also equals more opportunities for artistic failure, and for a film to succeed on all the dozen+ levels it inevitably operates on is more or less a miracle. I mention this to highlight that the animated film really ought to be the pinnacle of the medium because of the sheer control it offers. You can engage in wholesale world-creation without getting bogged down by lousy real-world constraints like physics or having a certain set of actors you can choose from or needing to render useless whole chunks of Manhattan to film a car chase or whatever. You can decide, quite literally, how many hairs you want to have on a character’s head. The only real limitations the animated medium have now are purely technical, and mostly stem from the fact (1) rendering (texturing and lighting, mostly) is really computationally intensive, and (2) the human brain is stupidly good at face-recognition, and so any tiny anomaly in a non-stylised CGI face is picked up and blown into monstrous proportions by our temporal lobe – which means that, for now, we still need real actors and can’t do everything on a computer. It’ll be an awesome day when all actors are replaced by CGI models, though: no more bad acting.
[6] If your heart didn’t quicken at least a little during that bit in the end of the first act where Judy takes the Zootopia Express and the virtual camera does these long arcing swoops over the different precincts then you’re not human. Actually this seems to be one of the things which animated films are quite good at: sequences which elicit pure joy. HTTYD was dense with those flight scenes, Wall.E had the bit with the fire extinguisher, The Lion King has that opening, and so on.
[7] It’s a proper score: Nick and Judy have their own themes, as do some of the more emotionally resonant sort-of-recurring motifs. None of this Zimmerian rubbish where a score is written before the film’s done and all you get is aural mush (if you see the word minimalist, run) and abused church organs. Some bits of Zootopia’s score are also quite interesting: Nick’s theme is a surprisingly Latinate, woody thing in the G Aeolian, and another theme (heard only glancingly until the credits) features lots of passing Neapolitan harmony and borrowed IV chords from the parallel minor – which is quite typical for big action blockbusters, actually, but not animated films. (There’s a twist in that the borrowed IV chord resolves upward, into the major IV, which works better than you’d think, and is nicely in keeping with the film’s upbeat tone.)
[8] There’s an extended parody of Marlon Brando that’s coruscatingly brilliant, and a bunch of sleeker-than-usual pop-cultural references (it’s the execution that prevents Zootopia from descending into the vapid cocked-eyebrow faddishness of The Lego Movie, which is enjoyable but not great), but a lot of the humour is also quite subtle. E.g.: at one point Nick tells Judy that the way to deal with questions at press conferences is to respond by asking your own question and then answering it; after that you start to notice that some of the more high-profile denizens of Zootopia consistently answer questions this way. (As in when the Mayor goes: “Did I imprison those animals? Yes, yes I did.”) And riiight at the very end of the movie, Judy says to Nick (platonically!): “Do I love you? Yes. Yes I do.”
[9] In part due to some bold-ish decisions by Howard/Moore/Bush. The scene where a young Nick is muzzled when an initiation to the Junior Ranger Scouts takes a very bad turn is one of pure Murnauesque horror, all darkness and Expressivist shadow. There’s a moment when the [beaver?] play-interrogating Nick suddenly asks Nick, right after he’s repeated the oath (about promising to be good, and kind, and brave etc.): “Even though you’re a fox?” You’d expect, given that Nick likes his friends in the Junior Rangers, to laugh, maybe nervously, and say of course, maybe add on, what’s going on, guys? But the face staring into the flashlight is stunned, shocked, speechless: and then the muzzle comes on. And this is how you realize that Nick, as a child, does not yet understand what it means to be despised – how does not know how to react to the fact of discrimination because at that moment it’s something totally alien to him.
[10] Wikipedia, with the stoic unselfawareness that makes it so endearing, describes the film as a “computer-animated action buddy comedy-drama neo-noir adventure film”.
[11] And this is a judgment completely separate from the issue of whether or not liberalism is correct.
[12] Rawls explicitly premises most of ToJ on ethical philistinism, which he disguises by insisting that there’s a difference between the right and the good and that he only wants to talk about the former.
[13] I’m adopting the Rawlsian axiomatization here, since it’s the most influential.
[14] Because, as a matter of fact, people are obviously not equal in most respects, and they are obviously unfree in many respects.
[15] Covering, inter alia, essentialism, affirmative action, childhood bullying, racial segregation, racial profiling, word reclamation, microaggression, sexism, workplace harassment, police brutality, and the politics (+ media) of identity (+ fear).
[16] It’s OK for a black person to call another black person nigger, but not for a white person to do so.
[17] Although many of these quips, especially those towards the end of the film, are spoken by Nick with genuine affection and irony. This is quite typical for a film that strenuously resists easy characterization of anything, even a word as simple as “Carrots”.
[18] The parallels with pepper spray and sexual predators are obvious, and chilling. But in this case it’s not so much a parallel, really, as much as an intermixture.
[19] This joke came from the mother of one of the (white) writers for Zootopia, who often applied the word to nonwhite people she admired.
[20] Actually the way the film deals with press-induced panics is quite elegant. After a heartwrenching scene where Nick confronts Judy over what she said (itself an amazing study in animated facial expression and the struggle between Nick’s tribal (fox) identity and the fact that Judy had only acted in goodwill), the press crowds around. “Were you just threatened by that fox?” they ask? “No,” Judy says, frantic. “He was[is?] my friend!” “Can we not trust our friends now?” the media scrum cries. “Are we safe?” The scene is fucking William Golding-levels of depressing and accurate, that’s what it is.
[21] Think of how crazily offensive a joke whose punchline was “a smart black man” would be. Now how about “fast sloth”? You get the point.
[22] Of course there’s a lot of divergence in the specifics, what with the political siloization of different media outlets, but it’s also true that a lot of disagreement re (e.g.) illegal immigrants don’t really stem from a different understanding of the facts: they stem from a different understanding of where our obligations to non-citizens come from.
[23] In this way the film succeeds where Animal Farm fails, in that Orwell, while presumably writing about the dangers about brainwashing, himself ends up creating work which is aimed at precisely that: creating a world so devoid of moral complexity that it subverts your ability to think for yourself by burying actual thought under a outraged moral smugness: think of how unbelievably stupid Orwell must make the farm animals for the allegory to work, or how much time you spend inchoately thinking gosh, Napoleon’s such a bastard.
[24] Think of Trump on Mexican rapists and Hillary on “superpredators”.
[25] Not living on an isolated island without large predators, I should clarify.
[26] And note that this aversion just needs to almost immeasurably slight when it comes to atomized interactions for it to have extremely large society-wide effects.
[27] Lemming Brothers. You’re welcome.
[28] Also probably true that if Zootopia got more explicit than it already is it would significantly undermine its persuasive power vis-à-vis those people who most need to be persuaded of the benefits of liberal pluralism.
[29] Not entirely a coincidence; the plot of Zootopia was drastically revised in the last 17 months of production. Originally, Nick Wilde was the protagonist, and Zootopia was some kind of dystopian hell where all predators were fitted with collars to shock them into submission should any of their predatory instincts emerge. It’s stunning to think how something as amazing as Zootopia nearly succumbed to the banality that infects every dystopian film being made nowadays.
[30] The idea that the film is an extended fuck-you to Trump & Co. is lent a lot of weight by the fact that, in the film’s credits, Gazelle cheers her adoring crowd on in Spanish. Plus Bellwether’s rant really might as well serve as the executive summary of the Trump playbook.
[31]Afterword: two slightly odd issues which Zootopia (inevitably, but probably unintentionally) raises.
First: remember how I said earlier that to premise liberal pluralism on the factual equality of all people is dangerous, and we should not care that some stereotypes might be true? You might find that outrageous. In which case: what about animals? They are not the equals of humans, in many ways. In many ways they are weak and stupid. In many ways they don’t contribute to your society. Still kind of seems to me that they deserve our moral caring (at least, if they know they exist, and if they can suffer.) In which case one question we must confront is this: how do we deal, morally, with real predator-prey relationships? Hah.
Second: Furries. I mean, somehow, weirdly, despite all our concern re not despising people for who they are, it’s kind of OK to mock them, isn’t it? The number of misconceptions people still hold about them is pretty incredible. If you read the comments underneath the trailers for Zootopia you’ll see some quite disparaging stuff being said about furries. I just thought this should be mentioned, as the irony of people watching Zootopia, a film about accepting difference, complaining about or mocking furries is rather painful.
submitted by parselcheese to copypasta [link] [comments]


2019.05.08 02:33 AnnaMoona Mensagens suspeitas

Então... É normal ficar curioso com o que o namorado faz no celular, e hoje eu tive a oportunidade de olhar o do meu namorado.
Encontrei uma mensagem para uma menina nas dms do Instagram, comentando alguma foto dos stories, falando que estava "cult sexy conceitual"... Não sei o que pensar e também já passei pela mesma situação alguns meses atrás, e deixei claro que não gostava dessas coisas, me sinto desconfortável e tudo mais. Pensar é uma coisa, falar é outra.
Queria saber a opinião de vocês quanto a isso.
submitted by AnnaMoona to desabafos [link] [comments]


2014.12.13 15:12 SuperSlavisWife 21 Lost Lady-like Behaviours that Still Apply Today.

So, at TRP they found this and were asking about any female equivalents to chivalry as a counter-point.
http://goodguyswag.com/21-lost-gentleman-traditions-that-still-apply-today/
So let's compose our own list. Everyone can suggest their own ideas and I'll add them here. Any ones I especially like will get featured near the top.
Personality:
1: She takes responsibility for herself. A common trend in women I can't stand is that they're always blaming somebody/something else for everything that goes wrong in life. A "lady" understands that she is responsible for her own happiness, and she works to make it happen. [whitebunny87]
2: A lady doesn't give undue attention to situations that do not warrant it. If a mess is made, she cleans it. If something breaks, she buys a new one. She does not let small things affect her manner and disposition. [fleetingwish]
3: A lady always says "please", "thankyou", "excuse me", "pardon" and "I'm sorry". A lady knows she is not the only person who deserves respect, that she is not the only person who works hard. She makes an effort to be genuinely sorry when effort is wasted on her, genuinely thankful for every small thing someone does for her and humble when asking for anything that she wants or needs.
4: A lady accepts her lot gracefully. Sometimes there are problems in our lives we can change, jobs we can get out of doing and people and situations we can avoid. Other times we just need to accept the hand we've been dealt, cut the drama and the complaining and make the most of what we've got. Sulking like a toddler who got the wrong flavour ice-cream won't do us any favours and is unbecoming (a word we need to use more often!) to a lady. So, what others can you think of that should still apply today?
Relationships:
5: She is unquestionably loyal to her husband. [StingrayVC] A lady always speaks well of her husband and seeks to praise him in public. [ThorsdaySaturnday]
6: She knows when to turn of the "nice" as necessary. This doesn't mean she turns on full witch mode, but she knows what level of sternness is necessary given the situation. [StingrayVC]
7: A lady is kind to children, the elderly, the disabled and animals. A lady understands that most carers are women. She understands that the vulnerable see a polite woman and trust her, even rely on her. And she at least is polite and gentle with those who are vulnerable enough to need to see her as a mothering figure. She does not leave lost children crying on corners or elderly people lying on the ground when they fall.
8: A lady does not nag, pester, chastise or otherwise undermine the maturity, agency and authority of any adult. Her husband is an adult with independent agency and authority. So are her friends, her adult siblings, her parents, her coworkers, etc. Even if they are acting like immature little children, do not nag them, pester them or chastise them. If you deeply feel the need to, you are probably seeking drama (in which case stop) or you feel like you are under the authority of an immature individual (which is often as much your problem as theirs).
9: As long as she is an independent, mature adult, a lady does not let immature people run her life. She attaches herself to mature, responsible people who are independent of her and does not mind immature people attaching themselves to her, but she does not place her future wellbeing into the hands of people who cannot be trusted with their own wellbeing.
Appearance and Health:
10: A lady takes care of herself and her looks. She eats healthy and tries to look as best as she can by dressing appropriately, working out and applying make up as it best suits her. [frozen-strawberry] A lady keeps good posture and poise. [FleetingWish]
11: A lady doesn't sacrifice a flowing, natural stride or upright posture just to accommodate painful fashion choices. Sometimes a little comfort has to be given up to look your best, and heels can make your legs look great, but if they're so high or ill-fitting that you stomp around like you're wearing clogs, you're much better off wearing smaller or more stable heels, or flats. Your feet and spine will thank you. [menina_idealista]
Public Sphere:
12: A lady is attentive and a good listener who asks questions in conversation and doesn't just talk about herself! [ladymodernlove]
13: A lady doesn't air her grievances in public to anyone who will listen. She deals with it appropriately in the right space. If she's having issues with her friends or family she speaks with them privately and deals with it maturely. Same goes for her captain, no man bashing with her girlfriends. You look trashy and immature "bitching" out in a bar or restaurant. These people are your family and loved ones and deserve respect. [Atikulta]
14: A lady always dresses for the occasion. She takes pride in her appearance and reputation, as she knows you can only make one first impression. There's a time and a place for sexy but grandpas funeral isn't one. Act and dress in a way that your man and family are proud to call you theirs. [Atikulta]
15: A lady doesn't lead on, mock or otherwise manipulate her male friends, family and coworkers. A lady understands that men serve their role in society, that they can (and often d0) have it hard, that their comparatively more eager and honest sex drives are not something to be exploited and then laughed about. A lady dresses appropriately, does not flirt for her own material gain and does not bad mouth men for being men.
16: A lady repays in kind. Other than your man or your parents, nobody should be supporting you. If you're out and a male friend buys you a drink, buy him one back of equal worth. If a relative sends you a birthday present, buy them something nice for Christmas or their birthday. Do not allow yourself to become indebted to others, especially not single male friends. If someone buys you something that is too much for you to repay, show your sincerest gratitude and repay as best you can on the spot, or when you can afford to in the future.
17: A lady does not shout, swear, guffaw or otherwise make inappropriately loud sounds in conversation. She speaks when she has something to say, not when she is wrestling attention or trying to be difficult by disagreeing with more educated people around her. She discusses those things that interest her and that she is familiar with, doesn't interrupt people and listens when a more educated person is speaking.
18: However a lady also speaks clearly, precisely and without dawdling or mumbling. A lady does not use filler words or "phonetic punctuation" at the ends of sentences, such as "like", "um" or "uh". [LittleMsRed] A lady avoids using expletives. [FleetingWish]
19: She is not violent towards anyone unless defending herself. Children, elders, the disabled and animals trust her. Other women are not free to hit just because you're physically equal. And just because gentlemen don't hit you back doesn't mean you're allowed to punch them. Besides, if a man does hit you back then it's your own fault for hurting him unnecessarily. However, if a lady is defending her children she is expected to fight at least as violently if not moreso than for herself. Her husband, parents and her child itself expect her to defend her children. [cabezadelamuerte]
20: A lady acts humble even when she isn't. She can be the certified world's biggest narcissist, but she will at least act modest about her accomplishments, accept praise without demanding more and not use herself as the point of reference for every conversation, problem or plan.
21: However, a lady is also not self-depreciating unless she feels it is an honest representation of herself. She does not go out of her way to feel hard-done-by, to be pitied or to ignore her every accomplishment. She doesn't have to brag and sing her own praise in order to show confidence in herself. (Note: these are in Public Sphere because they are behaviours. In time they may become parts of your personality, but to start out with it's necessary to focus less on the being and more on the doing.)
Private Sphere:
22:A lady is a good hostess. She makes her living space comfortable, welcoming, and pleasing to the eye. She knows how to set people at ease. [muliebritee]
23: A lady cooks to suit her man's tastes. Lunatic Amanda Marcotte has recently decided that cooking with anyone but yourself in mind is vile patriarchy. Which must mean it is a cornerstone of ladylike behaviour. When you cook, cook for the diners. A lady asks her gentleman before trying something he may not like, makes sure he is well-fed, makes him something else if he doesn't like the dinner and makes his favourite meals for him on the regular.
24: A lady never engages in gossip. It's simply not classy. [ThorsdaySaturnday]
What else does a lady do/not do? I have categorized them by theme. Any more suggestions regarding themes or organization are welcome. :)
submitted by SuperSlavisWife to RedPillWomen [link] [comments]


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